I'm AJAY

Hello People

2010-05-12T16:24:00.002+08:00

Just want to say to those who are still visiting this blog, I've moved. But this blog will still be available la. My new link: click here

Him

2010-01-28T09:37:00.002+08:00

Baby I'm in love (=

It's not confirmed yet but my heart has had stopped whenever he test me. Well that only happens to me when scarvie ank ahmad or Qaiyum Junior tryna messed with me. But that's different, both of them are my bestfriend. As for him, well it's different. Scar called him sepet but I don't care(smiling). Its been what? 5 days? And here I am over the moon. Kniz should have come that day. I think so it's _____ whatever it is. I can't pronounce it out loud yet but I'll go crazy if he didn't reply, when he's angry with me. The thought of not getting his text messages anymore sucks to the core.

Just what happened to you AJAY Protagonist? (and yet I'm still grinning). I keep on telling him " We'll see how " but I guess he knows I'm faking it 'cause I'm already addicted to him. (still smiling) ahaha.

2010-01-26T09:42:00.002+08:00

As previous post said, a lot has happened. Let's start off with my birthday.

15 January: Scarvie and Kniz fetch me from work. Oops before that, was in a rushed to go to work. I start at 12 and yet at 11am I was still dilly dallying. Thanks boys for the memories you guys gave and Scar, next time want give present give it in an appropriate way kay? Not "Nah pegangkan ni". Ahaha. Had some talks about changing preferences with Scar. And he was like "Kau nak aku pkai mcm dorang jadi mat rep?" hmm what can I say?

16 January: Work as per norm. I don't remember anything.

17 January: Boy Thunder, Nicky, Bik Idah and the kids celebrated my birthday at Pizza Hut. Haha, Scar treated me to Pizza Hut as well on my birthday. Was moved to tears when they bring the cake to me. The wording sungguh tidak perlu!

18 January: The day I ceramic perm and dyed my hair copper red. It's also the day I was chase out of my house. In addition, the first day of homeless stayed at Q's crib till today la.

19 January: Happy Birthday to Daisy. Homed from work and sang Q a birthday song BEFORE 12. ahaha. Ibu and Aya followed soon after.

20 January: After homed from work, there was a mini birthday celebration for Q and I was in the frame ahaha.

21 January: Packed my bag than go mama Yam crib. Meet Q at dance studio after that went home. Q changed then we went to Sheng Siong. Ahaha.

22 January: Work as per norm while that Q go make her 'dadih'.

23 January: The day of Q's mini birthday celebration! Helped her clean up the house. When it was time, meet Ida to go take cake. At first Q said the cake is still at MSQ so we went there. Skali my manager said da transfer gi IMM. Peng la skejap. I admit that Ida and I did dilly dally 'cause we wesdre fucking tiired ok?! Raeached home only Daisy, Pendek and her boyfriend were around. Visitors slowly strolled in.

Aqmal, this 2 guys I don't know, Fauzie and gang and finally baru si SHREK tu datang with Al-Fazli a.k.a Debot (=

That was also the first day I could see eye to eye with Haikal. No tegangness or whatsoever. The real party started after Ibu and Aya went out. We went KRAZY man. The girls macam prompan giler sabo each other with cakes until I have to change baju. Smoking outside the house. And I'd never imagine that, that day will be different.

They all left at the exact same time when Abg came home. At 10+ I tink, Shrek texted Q and said Faz wanted my number. Me as usual, dumbstruck, no reaction. I permit Q to give though. After which I was busy lapping while Ida comping. Q already hinted and asked where's my phone and I was like I don't know. Somewhere inside maybe. After done with my crap than I checked my fone and, he already texted me twice. Grinning? And we started to text all day long till today.

Faz has been texting me in the afternoon, at night and sometimes even in the morning. Has been getting all his attention but then Scar came into the picture. I mean he has been MIA-ing. I miss him, I need him though he really makes me sad and hurt with his words sometimes. Scar where the fuck are you? Abg Man on the other hand has been giving me a lot of advice. Thanks Abg. I'm really gonna miss you if I really quit working. Talking about that, even Faz show his uneasyness when I talked to him about Scar.

I'm fucked up!

Ahaha post (=

2010-01-23T22:45:00.002+08:00

A lot has happened and I mean a lot. From happy beginning to getting chase out. Sigh. Also with a bestfriend who's throwing fits at you without them knowing they adding the pressure. I'm AJAY god damn it. I'm strong. I guess. Pss, a guy just asked for my number. Urgh.....

The Meetup with the SISTAZ

2010-01-09T19:28:00.008+08:00

Surprise!! Hey, here I am yet again. Has been very busy with work, work and work. I love my job but also hate it. My lovely manager is leaving like soon but I'll always treasure all the things he has taught me throughout under his leadership. Abang Lan, thanks a lot for all your guidance. In my 3 months of working, I've broken a chili sauce bottle, 3 tall glass and also, spilled drinks. All these, my workmates are the ones who helped to clean up my mess. I felt guilty of course.

Oh yeah, now is 2010. I celebrated my new year at work. Ahaha and like I told Scar, always remember the taxi ride.

Hmm, my baby is growing well. Oops, sorry I mean Nicky's baby growing well. I always tell her that her baby is mine. I love her more and more everyday. I won't think twice about taking care of the baby. So yeah, nothing more to talk about so see ya.

Power House (=

2009-12-21T23:15:00.002+08:00

Enjoyment(=
I love 20 December 2009. Boleh tahan gerek lar. From fickle-mindedness to pegi sudahla. Tu pon after a lil tiff with Nicky teros buat decision giler. Went there with Q and Lolok. Met the rest there. Tu pon tak plan nak club together. There were a total of around 13 people. Come let me list it out for you.

- Q
- Noi
- Lolok
- Harun
- Boar
- Arep
- Naz
- Bear
- Aqmal
- Fazli
- Faris Habib
- Faris Brother
- Black
- San (new fren)
- Damien (sial)

The two ladies dapat full protection lar sei. No worries. Then balek dlm bus prangai burok. Should have seen how we sleep sak. Pandai plak tu occupy blakang. Then in the afternoon inside bus with Q saw this chinese guy whom we met at the club too. Sempat lambai lagi (= and we met the ticket seller guy too.

K la notin else to spit

Baby Qysha!

2009-12-13T17:42:00.001+08:00

She's my Baby Qysha (=

Welcome to my life.

2009-12-05T17:29:00.002+08:00

I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! Fucking Idiot!
For now, the only place I find happiness is at work. Abang never fails to make me smile. Wan, Baim and Abang yesterday full force work plus me. It's been quite a while since all four of us work. After work we ate and lepak a while but Wan and Baim was getting on my nerves too much that I decided to GO!

Met Abg2 kitchen while I was fuming. Haha, the sight of them cools me down. They invited me to sit with them and so I did. After our puff, Wan, Baim and Abg pon keluar, Abg was glaring at me but I don't give a fuck at him 'cause he didn't back me up. Homed with Abg Yacob (=

Reached home and chatted with N!CkY.

(I suap Abg donut)
Baim : Alamak nak manje2 la pulak maen suap-suap
(Baim was eating lobster bisque)
Baim: Nak tak?
Me: Nak!
(He suap me)
Me: Eh! tapi aku tanak manje nan kau tau!

See! I'm happier at work.

Abused

2009-11-28T17:25:00.003+08:00

Memang aku degil. Memang aku tak dengar kate. Mentang2 kau bapak aku, mentang2 kau ade hak kau pukol aku macam aku anak tiri kau. Ok, jom kite recap ape kau buat kat aku. Kau nak sepak aku, aku elak kau mengamok. Aku move back sampai masok bilik Nash. Kau tetap sepak-sepak aku, guess what, aku tak rase apape. Pedih pon takde pasal aku da lali. Kau amek album penganten kau kau pukol aku kat badan, kepale. Kau angkat kipas elektrik tu abeh kau pukol badan aku. Seriously lar sial tak saket. Siket pon tidak. Hati aku pon tak saket pasal hati aku da lame tertutop untok manusie macam kau. Kau pike ape kau buat tu semue betol. Kau da habex tunjal kepale aku nan album da habez bantai aku, da tkde energy lagi kau suro aku pack barang aku. Pukimak lar sial barang aku da lame aku packing kau apehal? Ok, sampai sini aje pasal bapak tak bergune tu.

Hey people. I've long abandoned this blog of mine. Not intentionally of cause. Work plus no internet. Erm, no mood to update uh. Btw, please don't look for me. Don't text me or call me okay? Byee.

Zirca 'M' party

2009-11-17T16:56:00.002+08:00

I very much enjoyed myself! The guys! OMG. Mouth dropped open la sial! The Grinding with multiple partners. LOL. Gerek giler. Tak tipu.

Q and I headed there late because of something la. Paham-paham jela kitorang good girl kene false pretense. Reached Zirca coming to 1am. Met Black and Mus. They were great la they really helped us get there, last minute ticket, entertaining our crap. Md Amirul Husni, I love you a lot. Met Wan there. Masok tros head dancefloor.

After the party was even FUN. Met seniors paling GILE and Kecoh. Faed, Fareed, Apit and Jumat. Q and I really laugh a lot. They not only entertain us but the chinese groupies behind us who is also tired after clubbing.

Urgh!! I miss those guys whom I talked to during queue. I miss those group of guys that I dance and grind with. I want to reverse time.

And to Sukarno Bin Ahmad, I miss you so much la Boi! Sorry we only chatted a while. I swear I wanted to chat longer but yeah, was heading to the club. You are really one of my bestest friend. I want to talk, meet you pretty soon boleh? Tapi kau baru start work kan. Sigh.

Sunday

2009-11-10T14:42:00.002+08:00

My Sunday was enjoyable (=
Workmate are the best man. Wan, Baim and Man never fail to irritates me and yet I don't mind it one bit. I like them just the way they are! Before meeting the trios stopped by Taka to watch Nonet. Met Hamkah and get to know a new friend. Aini. Gerek lar dorang! I'm bored, so toodles!

Let it all out AJAY

2009-11-06T15:10:00.002+08:00

When was the last time I blogged? Whenever it is, I don't care. So update on my life. Few days ago, my handphone totally died on me. Hell I hated my phone. Due to my handphone sickness, all my memorable messages were deleted. Both inbox and sent messages. Now, Scar will know how much I treasure those messages 'cause it means a lot to me. All the fights, sweet messages, I kept it, never deletes them. I have a bad habit of reciting Scar's messages to him. Also, I kept a particular friend's messages 'cause that person is trully important to me. Whenever I have nothing to do, I'll review those messages and can't help but to feel sad. I lost it now. I thought I'll be damn sad and dwell over it but I didn't and I'm very proud of myself. I'm stronger than I think. My girl will know how much those messages meant to me. She's proud that I'm over it too. Something very suprising indeed.

I want to meet Niza, Wan, Hema, Biandell and even Yan Sing. They are all 'GEREK' people. Oh yeah, Jasmine too. When I'm working, I forget about all the burden I'm carrying. At the end of a long day at work, I'll get tired and fall asleep. When I woke up, all those worries came crashing back at me. Just so you know, I'm not defeated yet. I'll overcome these problems very soon.

Confession, I used to get all moody when bestfriend ignore and don't talk to me, don't text me; but now, I don't care anymore. In fact, I'm the one who has been ignoring him. LOL. I guess work has a part to play in this. God I'm missing those difficult customers already. I miss being host, I miss serving people, taking orders. No worry AJAY, you'll be doing that soon again in a few hours time. Has been sticking to Cesc. I love my brother. Cesc, what will I do without you? I told him almost everything too. He was there when bestfriend IGNORED me. He tried to be him, comforting me, talking to me. Now, who wouldn't want a brother like him? Aku sayang kau Cesc! Banyak2 sekali! He was willing to 'layan' me after I end my work. Even a short conversation makes me feel appreciated okay!

Come clean with Q about the things I've been bitching behind her back. I feel good. God damn good. I mean there's nothing I'm hiding from her anymore. I love her, yes I do but sometimes, I can't help but feel like giving her a nice double slap on the face. Hey! I'm sure she feels the same way about me too. We made new friends under the voiddeck. Mariam and Amir. They are fun people! Will be heading to their party! Talking 'bout party, will be supporting my superstar this Sunday! Also, will be supporting my sweet lullaby end of this month. Fatyn Nonet and Afiq Mutator, I'll be there for you guys! I love you guys more than anything else. We've been through shits together times and again and here we are, still intact and close.

I want to be good again. I want to pray five tines a day like I used to. I want to read the Quran and solat Tahajjud again. God I miss being clean. Sad thing is, I stillw ant to go against HIM. I still want to drink and get drunk. Fuck you AJAY. I miss being the girl who prayed after knowing her friend is dying. She prayed not totally because her friend is dying but because she realised she has forgotten ALLAH all these while. She miss praying for her frinds and family. God, when will I do all of that again? Tomorrow? Damn, I won't even know what will happen to me five minutes from now.

I'm helpless right now. Uncle is having the most difficult in his life. I'm there to satnd by him though. I really hope the problem will blow over. He's staying back with me and he wants to start a new life without her. Fuck! I don't want them to separate please.

And to my dear bestfriend, I've talked to 'Pompan tu'. She apologised too for all the wrong things she has done to you. She miss you too. (=

Hah! He texted me first!

2009-11-04T16:54:00.004+08:00

Guess it, I'm at Q's crib and I just privated my blog! Scar texted me first early in the morning at 5:39am. Now we both know I'm always the one on impulse and texting him first but lately I don't give a fuck bout him. As a result, tau jugak die carik aku! Ahaha evil laughter. I can't remember all the exact words he said but it goes something like this;

Scar: Eh girl wa rindu same lu. Good luck for today. Smile always. Hah
Me: Haha! Miss me? Doubt so. H8 to be the bitch here but arent you the one always 4 gettin me? Don reply please!
Scar: I don't care. Say whatever you want but my feelings for you will not change. Aku tetap rindu kau, tetap sayang kau.
Me: You're really one stubborn little bastard. Yeah I don care also. I finali became independant..
Scar: Haha you just know that? Independant? Mesti uh da keje katekan.
Me: Just so you know I'm not suppose to reply your text.
Scar: But you can't cause you miss me too.
Me: Reali? Okay.
Scar: What time kau gi skola uh? Aku belom mandi sak!
Me: 730. And thanks for your xtra info.
Scar: Haha ok see you in school.

unproper post

2009-10-29T11:36:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday Noraisah Bte Idris!!

Da 35 ehk. Glamour gtu umor. LOL.

Still at Q's crib. Sleepover yesterday.

Otp with Cesc, Nazirul and Danial ytd.

Something happened yesterday.

Proper post later2 kay!

Back! at Q's crib

2009-10-26T19:57:00.001+08:00

At Q's crib with the SISTAZ. So a week has passed since I last update.

19 Okto - First day of work. As said, late. Broke a chilli sauce bottle when the Area Manager was around. Did closing. Sis Q sent me to work and packed me food too. Love ya.

20 Okto - When to school in the morning for CHEM and then meet Mrs Heng for a while with Rhaga, Scar and Zub, including Yong and Syad. When for dance then head to work. First difficult customer like fcuk! And, I had a favourite customer already! A malay man and a Mak Salleh man. LOL. Did closing yet again. Niza didn't come. After that headed down to PS to meet baby Net. Make friends with Chan and Annisah. Homed.

21 Okto - Meet Q and went for dance. From dance head to work again. First day meet manager just to find out he's Uncle Jai's neighbour no wander look so familiar. Homed with manager and he keep on talking about work. Oh yeah, first day headed down to Suntec City Secret Recipe. Made friend with Marteen, Naidu, Grace and Albert.

22 Okto - Science practical. Home, slept. Went to school and followed them to UCC.

23 Okto - Spectrum 4! After that lepak with Ida, Nas, Wan, Nadz and some others. Walked home in gang (= Reached home 2+am.

24 Okto - work 3-10pm. Met my favourite customer. Helped Suntec's SR again. Same bus as Abg Yacob.

25 Okto - called Fana over at NY. Worked from 12-6pm after which headed to someone's crib. Heh.

26 Okto - First day of O level!!

Apiz + First Day

2009-10-20T01:23:00.003+08:00

I ride a bike in this! For my ladies they will know why I'm telling this!

A rushed post kay. School tomorrow plus work.

Sunday, for the first time, lepak with a guy whom I just know and yet ride his friend's bike with him. Two words, "Gerek Doh!" sadly tangan die stop it! Motor mat rempit lar doh!

Monday, first day at work. 40Mins late and I was just lucky I wasn't scolded. Biandell was cool! Haha his nickname Nhonoy! same pronunciation as mine! Zeema, Irah and Niza, the three girl I work with today not forgetting the kitchen crew. Only remembered Boy! haha. And, Niza is Annisah's friend. Situation just like me and Nonet.

A particular friend's message cheered me up after long hours of work (=

Nonet!!

2009-10-18T15:23:00.003+08:00

In the library now. Guess it, with the Sistaz. In the morning when to take my uniform with Nonet. After which thought of accompanying her but her other friends are already down to support her. Please lar, I have no issue it's just that with her group of friends I just can't mingle. Sigh. Tomorrow will be starting work but at Marina Square. Not the same as Nonet. It's okay I guess. Nonet talked to me just now about how I've changed from people following me to now me following others. She also told me to talk to those people instead of avoiding them. The thing she most angry with me is that I know what to do and yet I'm not doing it. I'm sorry Net. Really am.

I guess I'll be heading back to school starting Tuesday. Mr Lim, Miss Liew, Mdm Hia, helped me out ya? These three teachers are very important to me for now.

About Friday, to those who felt offended by my behavior, I'm sorry. By the way, thanks friend for the hug. I know you meant well. I'm sorry that I did not even looked at you in the face.

By the way, I love Fatyn Nonet a lot!

Nur-Fatin and Mohd Salihan; Good Luck for today!!

Letting out steam

2009-10-17T17:41:00.009+08:00

I think I'm getting more FRAGILE by the day. My heart especially. I give the most petty stuff my most deepest thoughts. But the sad thing is, my tears died on me. I've let out too many tears that I can't cry anymore now. Hell I want to cry; but I can't. A lady of mine asked me about giving them chances. Just how many have I give? And just how many was I given in return? I don't know what I want anymore. Friends whom I thought are the ones I need proven me wrong. Two of my ladies knows me best. They know that I'm a girl full of REGRETS. Want to know who they are? Atieqah Qiara Bte Rahim and Nur-Fatin Bte Taha. Both of them knows who I'm very disappointed with right now. Yesterday, I was weak 'cause I'm sick. And I'm thankful that I'm sick. I don't have to pretend that I'm all ALIVE and happy. Yesterday, I was given a break from pretending.

I want my life back. I want to be ignorant. I don't ever want to find out that he has been lying. Hell no, I really hope he didn't lie. I want to have him in my prayers again. But the thing is, I still want to drink. How am I ever going to pray if I drink? Cesc, help me out! Yesterday was not a good day for me. I met someone whom I did not want to meet. Yesterday was a torture to me to face that person. Yesterday - was just a day filled with mixed feelings.

I really need my Ahmad Qaiyum Bin Md Sani right now. Wherever you are, if you're reading this, I really need you Qaiyum. I don't care about our fights anymore. I just need you now.

Ever had a feeling where there is just a point in time where you just can't hold on anymore? Well I get that feelings often. Have you ever cared for someone more than yourself? Such as is that person well, have that person eaten or simply what that person is doing. I cared for someone that much before but just to end up feeling all sorry for myself. Why did I bother so much? Maybe I'm doing everything wrong. Maybe, I don't even know what I'm doing. I hate me now.

I just want my life back. I just want a life where I know I'm in control. I don't want to be this FRAGILE girl. I hate it much. Where is me? Where is that Nonoi Lohan or AJAYISM or even AJAY Protagonist?

Someone asked me: If you were given a chance to change your life, will you choose the same life you're living now?

Honestly I don't know. I'm exhausted but this life of mine teach me a lot.

Quick shoutout!

2009-10-16T04:03:00.003+08:00

First and foremost, I love my dear brother Cesc. He tried to replace someone and he is halfway there. Thanks dearest brother for all the encouragement. You obviously know I 'sayang' you right?

Secondly; I've been spending my days with Fatyn Nonet besides the Sistaz. One thing I like about me and Nonet is that we just don't fucking care about those around us in the bus. Nonet got to know what I'm talking about!

Thirdly: I really want to meet up with Qaiyum A.S.A.P

Fourth: I don't have time to entertain people anymore. You guys want to 'perangai' with me; then too bad, I just can't be bothered anymore.

As for those who are disappointed in me, I don't owe you anything. Sorry, this is my life now!

Rushed post

2009-10-13T11:34:00.003+08:00

Graduation's over
O's coming soon
Stepping down on LEPAK

Heyho people, I'm competing with time to update this. Nonet's waiting for me and I haven't even bathe! Not all picture uploaded. Only those I like (= So yeah, 12 more days to Os!

A week with A.Q.I sistaz

2009-10-09T00:05:00.009+08:00

One fine day, I found them;
We are NOT wild.
Kite belom rosak!
Jadi jangan nak worry OK?
Kitorang tak menyusahkan sesiape.

Lady Ida

Nonoi-AJAY

AJAY Protagonist

Spotted this!

Hello people. Basically this is the last week of school for me. Monday after school meet up with Q after her N and off we went to visit Ida. After which we found a new port around Chinatown. Barang baek! Scar called and we chill. Had two rounds but no feel ); slept over at Q's.

Tuesday during PE checked CCA record ones again. Played badminton after that. Lepak as per norm with Sistaz.

Ditched school on Wednesday and Thursday. Met up with Black on Wednesday. Before that tried Woodlands but it's just aint our place.

Thursday met the girls and off to CCK poly. Gua kena kacau lagi dgn kakak2 cantik la people. Siott! dia shiok tengok wa luar tingkap tegaruk-garuk. Baruah betol. Reached poly but need wait so we walked to Lot. Do whatever we want to do and walk back to poly. Home to Jelapang after that. All three of us slept while watching Bohsia. LOL.

GRADUATION here I come.

Rehab -

2009-10-04T19:48:00.003+08:00

AJAYism stands STRONG.
I don't need anybody to keep me going
I may be that selfish BITCH
But in what way do I disturbed your life?

3 October 2009 - A day to support my beloved Superstar!

love.music.peace

My previous post was so 'tak perlu!' which means not needed. Aint deleting it 'cause it will reminds me that I posted something so irrelevant. Reality struck! Why is it every time I enjoyed myself for a day or weeks, I'll get sadness+anger twice the amount? Maybe, this is ALLAH's way of waking me up. I can't even count for how many weeks already I did not pray to HIM. All the things I pray to him now slowly gone. Understand? Let me just give you an example, no matter how much I dislike my father, I used to pray for him every night that he would be able to keep his job. But now, he lost it. To quote another example, I always pray for this particular friend of mine to get well from whatever my friend suffers from. Okay close case. Don't want to talk about all these religious stuff here anymore.

Thursday 02 October headed to Q's crib after school and spent time with her. The two of us are really two depressed girls over useless guys. We walked around the neighbourhood, smoke and then I off to Nonet's crib. God I miss Nonet! She hears me out the whole night. LOL.

Friday, there was some complication in our usual meet up. I ended up walking to the LRT route. Met BABIES for a while and quickly walk away when I saw someone. Sigh. Sent a stupid text message to someone in order for us to be talking again. In another word, AJAYism and Scarvilism has talked. LOL. Da baek pon bebual gado per? 3 days without texting sucker love really sucks but hey we're okay now aren't we? After school met BABIES and then Nonet came to join. Then proceeded to Q's crib. Alang and his two boys came too. Sent BABIES and Nonet and then lepak with Q again. Bought cig and in 2 days, I'm only left with 8 sticks. Fuck you!

Saturday, headed down to PS to watch my Superstar sing. I was THE 'BOHSIA' for the day. Blame it on my dress strap lar for keep on dropping. Before that had lunch with Daisy. Home with Nonet. Puff before we walked home. And thus, that summarised my days.

Today, I'm left to think, about 1 fucking word, L.I.F.E

Bestfriend

2009-10-02T03:05:00.002+08:00

Bestfriend, you said I did not have to understand you, but just be by your side.
You claim that you know my mood type.
But the question is, asal? asal kau mase layankan prangai giler aku?
3 days. We have not been talking properly. I miss you. Seriously.
I need you sak bestfriend but you,
Whatever lar

I'm so happy that Nonet will be all mine after her 'N'
We've got so much to talk about
And I really mean so much.

Today, like finally after weeks,
I manage to talk to LS2!

22 Sept - 27 Sept 09

2009-09-28T02:59:00.011+08:00

Tuesday 22 September
Ida&Nonoi

Ida&Q

Outside Q's crib

Kindergarden Buddy!

On Tuesday had prelim as usual. Received text from ex-scandal, he was sick. After school walked to Pending LRT with Syaz and Scar. Cesc was with his gf. Took LRT and alight at BPP. Scar buat hal. So in the end only me and Syaz went to BPP. Walked around and had a funny encounter at NTUC. Headed home but then instead called Q and lepak with her, Ida, Ana and Hafiz. Then followed Q to dance. While Ida followed Ana home. Q left dance early, meet up with Ida again at BPP to buy the hair dye at Guardian. Waited for BLACK, bought cig then went to Q's crib. Lepak then dye hair. After which sent Ida home. Black and Q then followed me home to put my bag. Lepak again at 237. Coincidentally, Efa, Fareez Greenday and Sadiq was there as well. Efa called me over. Soon, Khairy joined in.

Black and Me then sent Q home at her aunt house then Black and I lepak with them again but then Efa went home already. At 10+ like that walked to the bus stop with Black. While waiting for his bus he was telling me about his life, catching up session. Home and basically that ends my day.

Wednesday 23 September

Wednesday had Physics prelim paper therefore ended early. Aan texted me in the morning that he will joined Scar and I after our paper. Waite for Aan outside the General Office then walked to Greenridge Shopping Centre. We stopped a while, while walking 'cause it was raining heavily. Continued walking and talking crap. Had a puff somewhere near Greenridge Shopping Centre before going to the Banquet. Scar was the slowest in everything; seriously. Heh no offence. Then met Syaz and Naga at Banquet too. Aan mentioned something that BABIES already mention. LOL. After eating lepak around that area again to puff. Aan was singing and Scar was spoiling songs with his voice. Headed inside Greenridge Shopping Centre again 'cause An wanted to buy cig. After which lepak at the resident's corner. Took the LRT and went to An's crib. We watched SAW but I left halfway, fetch A.Q.I. Sistaz. Before that had a tongue-swagging fight with Scar about not spending quality time with him and An. Yeah rite!

Sistaz was surprised I'm not prepared yet. After fetching them went our separate ways. Get ready and stuff. Met Ida first then we walked together to meet Q. Took 190 to Plaza Sing. Ate LJS and there was this freaky guy there. Seriously freaky. Had our puff then went to SGH. I waited downstairs 'cause of the only 2 visitors thingy. Ida then went down 'cause Faez friend came. 'Dad' called and spoiled my mood. Ida and I keep on puffing while waited for Q. Took 190 and the bus driver 'carik pasal!' Ibu then called say want bring us out for supper. In the car she reprimand me sia. Fcuk! Home after that.

Thursday 24 September

Was a good girl. Did not go out at all. Just went for dance rehearsal to see then yeah home. Boring oi!

Friday 25 September
Our lights up (=

Q's crap

Candids!

Lepak at Senja area

After my papers, waited for sistaz. They headed to my home to lepak then I followed Q to dance while Ida went home. During dance I provided a free show and only dance club will know what happened. Dandy was suprised by the sudden discipline in dancers. Q and I left early, fetch Aez home, get ready then meet Q at Senja LRT. Walked to BPP to meet Ida. Busted! Mama saw me puffing. Even at dance studio Mrs Ng was sniffing Q and I. Grr suay! After that headed to Bugis! Walked around find a spot to puff then took 960 back. Lepak at Senja area till 11+pm. Sent Ida to the LRT while I sleepover at Q's crib. We slept at her brother's room. Gerek oi katil!

Saturday 26 September

From Q's crib went home. She sent me. Our plans for that day were canceled. Sistaz all went raya. Accompany Nicky go her family side since uncle was working. Home late but 'dad' was asleep so who cares?

Sunday 27 September

My made in SG korean guy

Nicky on candid camera

Went out with Uncle and Nicky. Suppose to go only a few of Nicky's side then to uncle side but since got transport decided to finish visiting all Nicky's side first. Iwan muke Korean lar sey! Takyah gi Korea uh ni macam! Found out that Zura was only 17, ex-Fajarian also a dancer now in ITE Bishan same as Ian. Heh. Aunty Mickie nye rumah gerek giler bab! I enjoyed my day today tapi Uncle suay. He lost his N95 phone.

My baby has changed

2009-09-21T17:37:00.002+08:00

He was the one I cried over for months. He was the one that I miss the most. Mikail Sohani, my hero, my life. Even Aez can't match up to this baby of mine 'cause Mikie baby is so special and dear to me. He was my one and only cousin that I took care of since he was a baby. He was the first cousin who needed me to be by his side when he wants to sleep. Until; last year. I had to vanish from his life 'cause my words hurt his dad's feeling. Yesterday when I met him, he did not remember me at all until I showed pictures of us to him. He said right in my face "Aku da tak ingat kau uh!" You know how hurt I was? But then he can't hide his own feeling. He was following me around and hugging me almost every moment until Aez had to come between us. I don't know why but I was damn irritated by Aez. When it was time for me to leave he went away hiding 'cause he can't bear to let me go. You know how much I don't want to leave? But I guess, nothings going to change for me sake or his.

The two pictures above was taken way before I sneak out of my house on the night of raya. At 1:00am I was sneaking around like a thief and to make matter worst, my 'dad' was sleeping near the door. Successfully get out but I had to walk all the way to Petir 'cause there is no more train at that time. Lepak and stuff, when home at 7:30am. Successfully get in also. LOL. Raya this year sucks. Don't wish to elaborate.
And I'll always remember this day. 18 September 2009. I miss this moment already.

Too tired to type

2009-09-19T18:16:00.003+08:00

Lazy to type out. Let the pictures do the talking for now yeah? Will update proper soon. Promise. And you guys, I'll upload the pics for you guys soon.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=106762&id=715214194&l=697729eb87
Top link for Scar, Syaz and, Cesc (=

What did I miss?

2009-09-17T00:02:00.003+08:00

The one I'm missing: Mohd Salihan Bin Abu Bakar

The one I've not been talking to: Nurul Jannah Saifulbahri/Jane

The irritable Scar (mind me. heh)

Nur Afisah Jamal/Nonoi/Ajay

"I've fallen but you ain't picking me up"

I'm having E.I. over and over again. Mates would know what it stands for right? I showed attitude to my best friends mind you. I'm not really the type to do that to my besties even though I'm pissed with them. I ignored one and give bird-face to another. Maybe the first one is already used to me instabilities but not the other one. My mistake, I did not point out his mistakes. But his mistake is that he failed to acknowledge what he has done wrong. You guys may think I'm just a bitch who keeps on blaming her peers right? Well get this, I don't care. I know my stand and I'll stand strong. I guess this is what happened when you have 4 guy best friends from all different walks of life eh? And every time I said "I give up on you bunch" I'm just lying to myself.

Manage to seek Nonet on msn just now. Didn't talked much just asked her if Qaiyum and Afiq were online before I went online. Nope, they did not. I can sense somethings bothering the duo but I just can't get through them. I want to play the fairy god mama again, helping them in the lurch. I'll say it out loud now that I miss Ahmad Qaiyum Md Sani and Md Afiq Insak terribly. I need my LS1 and my advisor. I need my energy booster. Qaiyum, where in the world are you?

Slept during math class yet again. Scar too. Don't know how true but Syaz said that Miss Liew kept on looking at us sleeping. Mind you, we are sitting at the first row and to make matter worst, center tables. Well, what done cannot be undone right? Was moody after Math 'cause Radi chase those not retaking MT 'O' out of the class and Scar had to leave. Did not stay back to study today. Anyway, Scar's studying with his baby so I headed home.

Will be hanging out with Q baby later on. I mean now is already 12:19am so yeah later on, 14 hours from now. And, I miss Mohd Salihan Bin Abu Bakar too. The last time we communicate, it was 2 mths ago boo. I remembered okay!

p/s: I'm needing cigarettes and craving for Vodka. &I've been hearing Promise in the dark over and over 'cause I'm missing Qaiyum badly.

I'm Officially Missing You

2009-09-16T05:45:00.002+08:00

One word MISS. Connect it with COMMUNICATION, that will explains my strain in relationship with Qaiyum. As for the other one, haiss, hard to say, as if there's no network coverage around him. I told myself times and again I don't want to care but I always fail and that makes them know even if they don't find me I'll always remember them. JERKS!

Countdown: 4 More days to Raya and room still not settled.

Had a blast with Aunt Nita yesterday. When BOF freaks meet, it's hard to say. Even Ryan and Ipen were excited spouting about it. First day raya Uncle Jai working like $*^%&$% that only means first day raya most of my uncle won't be around 'cause most of them working at the same place. Sadded. Can I not celebrate then?

There's papers tomorrow. sighing. & I still want that Haptic Pop!

BUSTED! So What?

2009-09-14T01:40:00.003+08:00

And yeah, I'm BUSTED. 911, September 11 'DAD' found out that I smoke. Somehow I was prepared for the WORST, but guess what, 'HE GIVE UP ON ME' ahaha. He just say don't smoke infront of him and make sure he don't see me smoke. As easy as that. If Riyan found out, he is so gonna make a scene. When he was caught, he was beaten up like what and yet me, just talk cock! Atlas, I don't have to worry about getting caught ever again. Told Sasha and she was like 'what?' he let you off the hook easily? Sasha has yet to treat me a bottle of Absolut Vanilla right? I don't give a damn anymore. At least I don't try pills you know. LOL, Sasha's doing everything on the sly. If Uncle ever found out, I am so dead.

Raya in 6 days time. Not feeling a thing. What I know the reasons:
1) Mama
2) Mama
3) Mama

In my 16 years of living, I've been raya-ing with her and yet this year I'm left stranded. On the night of raya I'm planning to stay out till morning. Will ask Sasha to help me buy ciggie ;P and of course no bottles. Christmas than maybe. Heh. I'm breaking all the rules now. I don't give a damn and I don't care lar dey. I've yet to go clubbing with Riyan and co. Nak tunggu N!cKy bila mau game? I haven't even dye my hair. Sh!t.

I want go kubor lar sial. I miss nenek already. Yeah I know she's damn disappointed with me but what to do? I can't control myself now and hell I don't want to be controlled. Btw, kat CP gerek sial banyak lobang. Sane sini but kebanyakan Texas lar dey. Texas pon Texas lar. Nonoi Nonoi.. nak mati cepat per pompan?

Have been heading down to North Point these few days. Went to Geylang too. No big. Oh yar, I clean my whole room. Bersih you! Ahhh!!! I want lepak at TP like last time tapi member sumer da lost contact sial. Aitey aitey... da tkde cite lagi gtu noh..

Assalammualaikum

Absolut Vodka please

2009-09-06T00:23:00.003+08:00

I can feel Scar slapping me, Bie, Q, Jane, LS2 screaming at me. But seriously, I don't want to be sober. I want to feel high and drunk. Or yeah not forgetting Boy Thunder kicking me in the arse. Yes, it's TRUE that he taught me about alcohol drinks but he did not teach me to drink them. But I know of one person who will support me, Riyan.

Should I?

I've Been Happy

2009-08-28T00:57:00.003+08:00

Hey people. Manage to get online. As for those who miss me (I know I'm thick-skinned) I've been really happy in school. In fact, I've been laughing almost everyday. Thank you to Scar especially for all the entertainments he had in store for me and also the girls. Well, prelims next week which just means Os are getting nearer. If Miss Durga can do it, so can I! That's all I guess.

ASSALAMUALAIKUM

Officially

2009-08-16T19:11:00.002+08:00

Den, hopefully you will change. They have accepted you all over again.

Baby, we seems like stranger now aren't we? I miss you Mikhail.

And I, Officially not blogging! Ciao

ASSALAMUALAIKUM

Visited Jeff

2009-08-13T01:49:00.002+08:00

Boy Thunder, nobody can REPLACE you!
Not even your BROTHER.
He just; found a place in my heart.

JEFF, please change. Enough is enough. We will be waiting for you. Don't create trouble there!

Thank You

2009-08-09T14:49:00.001+08:00

I know this is weird. But I just want to say thank you to those people. Honestly, I don't know if I'm a Priority or an Option in your life. Just want to let you know, you were never an option. We were once so close and I appreciated all the things you've done for me. What when wrong? You do not share anything with me anymore. Nevertheless, all the sweet things you have done for me will always be in my memory because you are someone dearly so important and special to me. You stands out from the others in your own unique way for you are unique and special. No matter how many times we said 'I love you' to one another for a friend, I felt that you did it out of habit. Not me, I mean it every time I told you so. Once again thank you. But one day, I do want to know am I an Option or a Priority in your life. From the bottom of my heart, I love you Best Friend ;)

ps; and yes, technology connects us and that's how I knew you

Back for a while (=

2009-08-03T22:55:00.002+08:00

Meet YP new girls - 2NE1. Pronounce as 21 only yeah. Cassandra introduced me to them. Thanks yeah honey 'cause now I'm addicted to them. Wonder Girls so far no new songs eh? Same goes for SHINee. heh. Among the four girls Sandara Park is my favourite lady. She's cute yaw! The eldest and yet the goofball. Listen to 'I don't care' and 'Lollipop'. As for lollipop, BigBang is featured in it too.

Today was first day of Night Study. Heh, Esah, I give you back Scar. How? Irritating right? But hey, today's night class, did studied. That's the main point after all.

Kay, just a brief recap. Last Friday, fell down while going down the slope. LS2 will know about this. Saturday, CB saw how 'gelojoh' I was when I was eating under the voiddeck. Erm last week Wednesay/Thursday, dearest Scar 'merajok' lar sey! heh (=

And I guess, that is all the so call hightlights that happened to me. LOL. goodbye again! Studying really hard now. Kay this equation suddenly come - C + O2 -> CO2. Heh

With love, ASSALAMUALAIKUM

I don't want to blog anymore

2009-07-26T21:47:00.003+08:00

Read the title? Yeap, you are reading it correct. Well, my dad is the one paying the bills and his mouth is really unshut-able lately. I can't take it anymore, he just keep on reminding me that he can take away all my entertainment including Internet. Therefore, after this month bill, I want to return back the Vodafone. After I work and have enough 'MONEY' yeah, I'm gonna beg Riyan so that he will allow me to work with him. I want to pay for my own stuff. I don't want to trouble my so call 'PARENT' anymore. Wait for me aite, when I apply for my own Internet line, I'll continue blogging. Heh, provided I still want to.

GOODBYE and ASSALAMUALAIKUM. May we meet again in another post.

I hate CB like HELL!

2009-07-22T21:36:00.002+08:00

AJAY.Protag

Late day! Heh, I thought I was late when I woke up at 6am then I remembered it was a late day and PLUS, it was raining, all the more reason to sleep. Drenched in the rain again. Today wasn't in the mood to get drench but what to do? Lazy to bring umbrella.

English got back comprehension paper. Was disappointed 'cause the mark I get was not my normal standard. I got 27 and a 1/2 upon 50. Even Irsyad scored higher! Grr! Mrs Heng wrote a note beside my mark that it was not my best effort work. Mood when down. I can't afford to drop my standard with Prelims few weeks from now. Talked a lot with Irsyad from English all the way to Physics lesson. Hah, I felt like we were P5/6 again where we used to be close ;)

Sebastian asked me something which is very disturbing to me. I know he was just curious about him but I hate how people start asking me about him. CB was the worst. Told him off just now and I told Irsyad I hate CB. HAH!

Geography, my group talked to Miss Durga about the vandalism/destruction that happened in our school weeks ago. Syaz tried to side Kutti but to no avail. Scar showed us pictures of the vandalism. I tell you, it was TERRIBLE! Mdm Hia was on MC and so Mrs Heng took over. Continued talking to Irsyad. Heh ;) Last period was Math as we were dismiss early, skipped POA. During Math, Jane, Yong, Syaz, Irsyad, Scar and I laugh a lot. We had FUN and it is called BONDING. We are graduating soon afterall right? To me, this is the time to spend as much time as possible with classmates.

Oh yeah, yesterday Yong gave me this comment: Mak kau dekni dudok tak senonoh sial!
Heh ;P I was wearing baju kurung and I duduk very the tak sopan. Sorry eh?

And to this friend of mine, you would know it's you lar.
"Wh0 cares b0ut h0w many daes u hav left? Wad impt is tat h0w u spent them, Sh0uldn't u brg urself cl0ser t0 HIM? :S ... "

You did not reply after that. I'm sorry if my words were inappropriate. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or make you feel sad or anything yeah? I love you best friend!

MT 'O' LC was hokay!

With Love ASSALAMUALAIKUM

Racial Harmony 09!

2009-07-21T19:52:00.003+08:00

I will miss TODAY. The first in four years in Greenridge, I wear my ethnic costume to school!

Rafhanah Fauzan Pitkin

I am so fine now. Eww when I viewed my blog and I saw my angry post, I don't like. Haha. It's 8:30pm now but I'm in no mood to watch Anugerah. Let's recapped a little bit about yesterday shall we?

Did not sleep. Drank 3 cup of coffee. Heh. In school my face was shitty lar. Jane was among the ones who asked what's up? Geography, we got the lease. LOL. And I'm speaking as if all this shit is real. Anyway, it just means that my group has won the so call debate. Scar asked me what's up too and I told him "Give me 5 more minutes!" He wanted to helped me take my textbook but I was so stubborn that I insisted I take it myself. He then offered food to us. Hah!, it didn't even take me another minute to be awake again. Wow, food is everything to me huh? Then, I don't remember anything else.

Had Social Studies test yesterday. MT lesson, Scar at first like real want study after which he slept. I took over and like real want to study but in the end I slept too since I had not sleep foe the last 24hours or so. Haha Scar and me slept side by side lar for the fact we seat next to each other. He had a nightmare and woke me up. Bastard, I was catching up on my sleep sia! Scar was perspiring like what lar. The table was all wet.

During the test, I sit in the same row as Jane and Scar. The three of us took turns to sleep. It was funny. Everytime I'm awake, it's either Scar or Jane who is asleep. Dadida, homed and slept till 1:47am.

When to school with Jane and Rina. Changed and pictured with Bed and Fay. It was a memorable day lar. Took photos with the guys and stuff. Oh yar, Scar's right eye was red in the morning. Don't know why lar that guy. Yong was handsome in white. HEH! Cesc, he's reason wise was that no samping to wear. I wanted to take picture with Aan but no chance lar. I wanted to support him for GSS Idol and yet again no chance. GSS Idol starts at the same time as my ECT.

Damnit! I did not read up on my CHEM notes. What a waste, many came out. Just like Fana, I will get my CHEM back in line. Fana dearest, if you don't get your CHEM back in line, Mommy's going to ground you for life. Retake that test and ace it okay! And mommy, I want go NY lar. Nak wait for me work biler mau game sei? LOL.

CONGRATULATION TO MD SALIHAN ABU BAKAR - THE NEW GSS IDOL ;)

With love, ASSALAMUALAIKUM

I'm fucking irritated right now

2009-07-19T22:35:00.003+08:00

As I'm typing this my hands are trembling. Just a few seconds ago, my anger exploded. I could not take it anymore. Md Nazaruddin Bin Jefriddin, kau betol-betol cabar kesabaran aku.

For months, Nash has been fighting with him and yet I told my brother to bersabar. For months that bastard has been screaming and shouting at Aez as if Aez is his maids but I kept quiet 'cause I know he is just growing up and showing tantrums. But today is the worst. That was my final straw. Nash was screaming at the top of his voice and Aden was stamping his feet screaming back at Nash. When I went out of my room, I had no intention to beat and scold Aden but he is really testing my patience. I ask Aden what happened and he ask me to ask Nash. Nash just said he can't compromise with Aden. And he would NEVER forgive him. I went inside the room to ask Aden what's up and he just said whatever he wants to sleep. Since he wants to sleep, I switched off the lights and close the door. Suddenly he screamed from inside telling me not to bother his life. I was damn pissed off lar. I was dong him a favor 'cause I wanted to cool down Nash and yet he shouted at me like that. I went in and just punch him lightly 'cause I could still control myself. I shouted at him all my unhappiness and all the favors I've done for him such as asking Nash to forgive him even though I know he was at fault. And I told him that I was unsatisfied about him shouting at Aez. I've told him times and again but he still do it. I was shaking after I let out everything. Astaghfirullah alhazim. Ya Allah maafkanlah keterlaluanku Ya Allah tapi hamba mu tak rela adik-adik kandungnya diperlakukan begitu dan hambamu ini sekadar suruh mereka bersabar sahaja.

Breathe. I'm feeling better now. Yesterday was lazy to go for class. Meet Q and off to Woodlands to visit Mom. It was a wake up call. All these while, my EGO was the one taking control over me. Yes, she has only showered me with hurtful words but nevertheless, she is my MOTHER. My heaven is with her. All the good deeds I've done without her restu, it's incomplete. My mom really looked Chinese doesn't she Q? Aunty opened her khutbah. I really wanted to oppose her but I didn't want to make a scene. I guess, it's almost confirmed I don't want to get married. I think I've received enough cursed that my future child will be rude and defiant to me. I don't take it as a joke okay!

Meet up with BABIES then. DilahBoo was not with us. Had fun but I'm lazy to update already due to just now eruption. Eh wait, yesterday I was screaming in my heart that I have a feeling we will meet Dinnie and we really did. Somehow, I just love my instinct and I never regret following and trusting them.

With Love, ASSALAMUALAIKUM.

I miss Dancing

2009-07-17T19:02:00.002+08:00

I miss Dancing

Of course I do miss dancing. It is what I have been doing since I was six. When dancing, I am a completely different person. More could be expressed 'cause I'm not in the REAL world. No matter how much I say I am sick and tired of Dandy, fact is, I miss dancing for him. I also miss dancing for Cikgu Halimah and also Sriwana. I miss Dancing for EVERY show. I miss hearing guy friend saying 'Asek muke kau jer joget!' I miss all of that. I will, get back to dancing but not right now. It's risky. I don't think night dance classes is a good thing right now. I should really FOCUS on Os right now and when that obstacle is over, I could finally get my ass back to dancing.

I did not wake up at my normal time today. Normally I wake up at 5:30am but today I woke up at 6:05am. I don't know what I did that makes me so tired but what I know is that I am tired. Reached school and search for best friend. Jane have not even opened the class door too. Was attentive throughout Chemistry lesson, taking every notes that Mdm Hia write. 5mins before times up, my brain was already tired. F&N, forgot to bring apron luckily Food Lab got a lot of spare apron. Did the experiment on Cream Cake. Ok lar.

Geography was the BOMB. I came in late due to canteen and toilet. After Bedah presentation, my mouth was Un-shutable. I kept on trying to make her see things that we are deforesting the forest for a good cause. Fuck global warming. Ok maybe not. If you guys don't get it, my Geog class are separated into different groups for a so call 'project work'. My group held the CEO of a Timber Company role. Bedah's group is the Village Headman. Vivian's group was the Government Official while Wei Ming's group is the Forest Conservation member. One hour was not enough to settled whether my group get the lease or not to the forest. the final say will be next week, Miss Durga's decision.

Ftct, we were all buzzing about the cross-ethnic costume. I was too high that Mrs Heng has to stop me twice 'cause of my hyper-ness. FYI, can you believe it, I shriek/scream during Geog class 'cause everybody was talking at one go.

Early in the morning text Scar to buy for me Milo, he did not reply so I assume he's not buying but surprised surprised, he did buy for me. And, Rhaga was only allowed to come back for F&N. I felt sad for him. Well I guess that's it? Wait! People has not been replying my texts. I was so damn pissed. Since last week sia. And,! Qiara want to go out with me tomorrow. Hah, but before that she will be accompanying me to meet Mom and Aunt. Talking about that, I'm pissed with Sasha again. Grr! -has been hearing the song 'Apa Artinya Cinta' by Melly Goeslaw and Ari Laso. Sasha's favorite song!

With love, Assalamualaikum

Guilty to Yan/BABIES

2009-07-16T21:07:00.003+08:00

The spelling mistake spoiler uh! Lets see if you readers can spot it.
Remember this graphic? I really don't want anybody to be a priority but that's just my bad habit
SNAPS! while using the laptop ;)

Nurul Jannah Saifulbahri was so used to me going to her every morning. Today, went reached class, I didn't greet Jane at all. I just sat at my place and day dream. Jane was lining up to record her temperature and she asked me 'apasal?' and my reply was 'apasal ape? cari pasal?' haha. Mrs Heng came back but she was still sick though.

LS today was very meaningful. About Potato Egg and Coffee bean. Let me tell you the story in my own version aite?

A girl was telling her father how much she was stressed up over her problems and she can't cope with it. Her father is a chef. Her father did not reply to any of her words but instead turn on the stove and boil three different pot. He insert a potato in one pot, egg in another and finally the coffee bean in the third pot. The girl was confused with what her father is doing but said nothing. Twenty minutes later, her father turned off the stove. He asked his daughter what she sees. The girl replied 'Potato, Egg and Coffee.' But she do not understand what does it mean. The father than explains that all three potato, egg and coffee bean gone through the same heat and luminosity and all three acted differently.

1) The POTATO was at first hard and strong but after being boiled, it turns soft.
2) The EGG was at first fragile inside and protected by the shell outside but after being boiled, it became hard inside. It does not matter if the shell breaks.
3) The COFFEE BEAN manage to change the surroundings altogether by becoming coffee.

Aiya it's okay if you don't understand as long as I do. Had Social Studies remedial today. Okaylar, we ended almost 1 hour earlier. Class was not really as it is. Rhaga is serving his punishment while B absent today. Scar on the other hand was very 'perempuan' today. Now he become like Qaiyum already. Asek merajok jer. And I kept on calling him 'dayus'. Sorry. You know I don't mean it. I love you okay. I love Aan just as much too.

Saw Uncle and Yan under the void-deck. Crept up to them. Haha they were surprised. I miss Yan of course but I try to keep my distance. Just now, maybe I kept my distance too much. I kept on talking to Uncle. Yan tried to cut in but I just pretended he wasn't even there. GUILTY.

Spent time with BABIES (Mummy, Bie, Babyboo) I love them. I love W.E.T too. Winnie baby don't always sad/angry leh when see me. I love you okay! more and much and more. LOL.

Lots if Love, ASSALAMUALAIKUM

A short post will do

2009-07-15T22:29:00.003+08:00

The day of 'Cats the Musical'
I visited my babies and we lepak-ed awhile.
So yesterday after the post and stuff, Mama called me to ask questions on Abang and Adek's homework. I spent 90mins on the phone teaching her MATH. LOL. While talking I received a text message which I didn't bother to check. After the phone call, was surprise when Aan wanted to go to school together today.

It was raining in the morning. They asked me to bring umbrella. Rilek sudah! Scar headed to school first 'cause the toilet was calling him. Aan waited for me still. Walked to school and meet up with Scar. Ate breakfast and simply talk. So call catching up. We laughed a lot like we used to be. We were laughing about this particular person. Lagu bukak tak leh lagi kuat per? And there were many RANDOMNESS which makes me laugh harder.

In class Scar bully me. He HIT me. Then he gripped my hand. PAIN okay! Fine, I started disturbing him first but he must not retaliate mah. Must be gentleman right? LOL. Honestly, I have nothing now in my mind. Blogging for the sake of remembering today. When was the last time I went to school with my two lovely boys? When was the last time I had breakfast with them? Let me give you the answer, 2 MONTHS BACK. I remember it clearly, the last time was suring the Mid-Year Examination on a Wednesday.

Lots of Love, ASSALAMUALAIKUM.

I IDOLISED

2009-07-14T20:20:00.002+08:00

Britney Jean Spears

Alice Beth Moore - PINK

This is a PURPOSELY separate post. I don't know why but just feel like sharing. These two ladies at the top are my favorite singers. To me, they've gone through much shits in their life but still they could be considered successful. Look at Britney, K-fed gave her shit didn't he? Pink? What about her? Just listen to her songs. Just like AKON, through her songs she expressed herself.

So now I should say 'You wanna Piece of ME?' or should I say 'So What?' or simply just sing 'I had a Bad Bad Day' You help me pick but I guess I will go with 'So What'.

Ciao people! Oops sorry, ASSALAMUALAIKUM.

I miss FAME9, BABIES, RIYAN, JUNIOR, FIQ

2009-07-14T19:42:00.008+08:00

Rainbow

The TRADEMARK pout!

I'm fairly BORED with LIFE though I know I should not be. I should spend my $86,400 wisely shouldn't I? AJAY likes Mr Goh's way of telling stuff. Read the title (If you have not!) Yes, I miss those people tremendously. Well for FAME9 that particular person whom I'm FORBADE to be close to(paham2 jelar sape). BABIES even though I see those two ladies everyday, it's MERELY them passing by my class. Riyan, it's either you are too busy PARTYING or you are really busy WORKING. So which is it? Junior and Fiq, I'm getting less of you guys. What's up? What is wrong now? My FAULT again or is it someones IGNORANT or another someones EGO? Only ALLAH know eh?

Last week I folded flower origami for Scar to PROVE to him that I could do it. He was looking down on me! But then he said "Kalau nak buatkan untuk aku tu cakap je lar!" iyelah(x2) aku sayang kau bab tu aku buatkan bunge untuk kau!

Lately, I really do feel TIRED and my MOOD sometimes just turned FAULTY. I hate it too. I get MAD and then I just shut up! I don't know why but I just don't EXPRESS myself anymore. What is wrong with me? Even AJAY does this to me? There was once incident in the CHEM LAB, CB purposely in front of my eyes wet my paper which they borrowed to copy down the answers. I just grumble to myself and don't give a fuck. Second was just now in class when the fools are playing with water. A dumbo shoots water at me while I was reading a book. I was MAD but not to the extreme. I yet again just cursed and swear in my heart. If only I was 'fasting', they would have taken parts of my sins for making someone who is 'fasting' angry. I really do want to scream and shout and punched those idiots in the face. I've done that before last time but why can't I do it again now? My hand was so darn easy to be lifted up to someones face last time. JUNIOR was always my target but now I can't even SLAP anybody. I felt guilty towards JUNIOR. It was easy for me to hurt you physically but not to these idiots who are now making me darn pissed off. AHMAD QAIYUM, sorry.

Scar gave me a very good idea which I love it so much. My own karaoke hub with updated songs so that I won't grumble so much. LS2, Jane and Scar knows why right? Well, that's all I got.

Book I've just finish reading.

Book I've read and WANTS to read again.

Novels I want to read DESPITE 'O's coming.

Lots of love, ASSALAMUALAIKUM.

My Family consist of 9ppl - I love my BABIES

2009-07-12T10:19:00.003+08:00

Hello lovelies. AJAY has been so darn tired this few days. Yeah, I've been sleeping like a PIG too. Eh dowan later got swine flu ;) School days has been as usual, nothing really interesting to elaborate about. Friday had catching up session with my dearest Life Savior2! Oh, did I tell you Mr Lim BT has been praising me because of my change in attitude? I felt very motivated each time he praises me. Hah! for someone who used to hate PHYSICS, I've been teaching Irsyad and Wei Ming. Apart from that, Jane and I was scolded by Big DADDY on early Wednesday morning.

Yesterday planed to watch my BABIES perform but I was late. My desk clock was 15mins late and I didn't even knew it. When I reached there, the performance has ended. Saw Winnie darling and also Liing and Ruth. When to Level 2 to meet my babies. They told me about Qiara and Dayana. Funny sia. Qiara was brought to TTSH. My Babies took a long time to change. After which we all walked and stuff.

Each one getting pissed and gets on one another nerves. My MUMMY and BABY were with me throughout. Saffie was there too. We ate and I off from there. Sorry Babies, next time yeah? I miss you guys like CRAZY too but I needed to go. (which I thought so!) Babies than proceeded to watch Fire Works while I proceeded to Yishun.

Reached there, Abang and Shafiee was playing downstairs. Reached the house, there were quite a few people there. Uncle said ADEK has been looking for me and my reply was "FAKE". Mama then told me it was true. ADEK saw me and hugged me. Surprise Surprise. Oops before that, I was surprised to saw YAN there. I salam-ed everyone except him and Hafitz.

Yan: Eh! Salam daddy, mummy, orang laen abeh Yan Nonoi tanak salam? Mcm Mummynye salam okay!
Me: Whatever!
(Sashanye salam is the kiss both cheek one lar!)
(There was no place to sit I was looking around to find a seat)
Yan: Sinilar Yan pangku
Me: Rilek Sudah
Sasha: Kau jangan nak ngade-ngade aku bedal kau kang!

In the end Yan gave up his seat for me. Tak suroh pon! Because it was already so late due to KARAOKE, Woodlands plan was postpone to today. So later yeah, I'm off to Woodlands. I miss YAN already. He never fails to make me smile lar.

'Kau jangan ngade-ngade pompan! Dier tu mase ade bini!' - Sasha
'Lah, bukan orang nak kawen ngan dier! Manje ngan abang tak leh?' - Me
'Manje ngan Uncle je lar!' - Uncle Abg.

Haiss. Relax lar people, not like I want to destroy his marriage or what so ever right? Kite kan adek-bradek! tak salah pah? susah-susah suroh YAN bawak bini dier skali uh!

My Family:
Sasha - Mummy
Uncle - Daddy
Yan - First Bro
Hafitz - Second Bro
Gegerl - First Sis
AJAY - Me lar
Putra - Abang
Putri - Adek
Shafiee - Boy

Yes, now everytime when I said I go out with families, it means this whole lot of humans! Now, time to wake Mummy up!

I've packed and ready to move.

2009-07-07T23:01:00.002+08:00

Presenting, my SUCKER love!

Kay, the second picture the face no need step decent eh?
Lazy to update on today 'cause there's nothing to update about.
Finally, I've packed some of my stuff.
Additionally finally (okay crap), I can't wait to move out!

END OF POST
AJAY.Protag - Not the girl whom you think you heard of before!

Will I ever find TRUE happiness?

2009-07-06T12:09:00.004+08:00

Friday 3 July
Attended school as per normal. Did not remember details of school. MT 'O' oral that day. I guess it was pretty fine 'cause it was about music, my favourite topic. Any kind of music I can talked about. Before the oral, my mood went all the way down. I suck! Texted with Lovely Mama and she tried to perk me up again. Well, she succeeded half way. Homed and sleep. Uncle Abg came but I was asleep. He woke me up but even though I 'layan' him, I was only half awake and so I sleep again all the way till 1:55am. I simply just woke up but I wasn't planning on praying for 'solat Tahajjud' and so I slept again.

Saturday 4 July
Uncle Jai called me twice in the morning but I just ignored it. When I finally woke up, Aden told me Fendi came to tell that his uncle passed away. I felt bad, really bad 'cause that's what Uncle Jai wanted to tell me, his brother-in-law died. I was cursing myself but I wasn't planning on 'melawat' to his house. Riyan called and persuade me to accompany him. He succeeded though. We lepaked awhile while waiting for Lovely Mama and Uncle Abg to arrive. Kak Nor saw us and chatted with us a while. Meet Lovely Mama and Uncle Abg and off we go to Uncle Jai crib. After all has been done, we went to Lim Chu Kang cemetery. Papa Adam was there. I was expecting to see Mama Idah and Baby Mikie but they weren't there. I stick with Lovely Mama throughout.

Papa Adam then offered Uncle Abg if he wanted to visit Nenek grave. Before that I told Uncle Abg that I dream of Nenek and she wasn't happy. I told Atok too and Atok said of course Nenek isn't happy, how long has it been that we did not visit her grave? When we reached her grave, I really felt like crying. Weeds were growing all over. Other graves were worst but I'm just happy that I came that Saturday. Uncle, Riyan and Me cleared Nenek's grave, prayed and off we go.

In the afternoon, after spending time with Aunty Ita for losing her brother, Ibu Faridah, Mak Long, Lovely Mama, Uncle Abg, Aunty Lynn, My 2 brothers and I off to BPP. Walked around as a family. Mak Long and Ibu Faridah homed early so left the 6 of us. MY VERY IDIOTIC DAD just have to spoil the atmosphere. He kept on calling me and also Nash phone to talk no, scold me. GOD, can't he just let me have my peace for even a day? What's his problem man? Nash was 'BINGET' also.

Met Bik Lela and also cousin Ajul. He used to be close to me. Bik Lela asked when I'm ever going to visit my mom? I just smiled. She said she want answer not smile. So I told her lar "Insya'allah next week" I guess, I will visit my mom, I can't stand it anymore staying with so call DAD!

Uncle Abg when home. Left Aunty Lynn, Lovely Mama and I. We were at McD from 7pm all the way to 11:30pm talking. Uncle Abg, Hafitz and Yan ;) came to FETCH us home. The 3 guys know that if they don't come, we won't go. So the 6 of us walked to Petir LRT station. Yan said he won't send me home that day 'cause Aunty Lynn stay nearby to me mah and I will already have company. I pulled an unhappy face but he didn't care. Ass Hole! By the time reached outside my house it was already 11:45pm, that STUPID guy locked the door from inside but I could hear that he was still awake, watching TV so I waited a while. After 5mins or so he opened the door just to CHASE ME OUT. He said don't go home that day. Upon hearing that, I straight away walked away.

I informed Aunty Lynn then called Uncle Abg. Lovely Mama was the one who answered she said to come over. On the way there met Nek Ani and she was asking where I'm going at 12am. I just tell her what happened lor. Reached Petir around 12:20am. Changed and watched "Coming Soon". The strory sucks man. Then slept.

Sunday 5 July
I woke up early. Used to it. Hafitz came inside the room to take his bag. He was saying "Banyaknye nak bangon kol 7 pagi makan breakfast" haha. My excuse is that I was already awake, woke him up but he won't budge. He left for his girlfriend house after that. At around 3pm, Uncle Abg, Lovely Mama and I went to North Point to meet Hafitz, his girlfriend and the girlfriend son. Bused to Lovely Mama parents crib. Mami and Indra was already there.

I told Lovely Mama and Uncle Abg that I'm meeting Yan at 6 to catch a movie. Lovely Mama suggested we all watched together. I gave in and said okay. They started karaoke-ing and lost track of time. I was damn pissed off sia. Lovely Mama kept on saying later and in the end Yan texted me and said his son is sick so that day plan canceled. At 8:20pm when Lovely Mama finally feel like going, I told them I don't want to catch any movie anymore. Lovely Mama was sad with my decision and Uncle Abg kept on asking why. Hafitz knew why of course.

Reached home, I 'slumberly' opened the door and headed for my room but that SIAL PUNYE BUTO stopped me. I kept on walking but he was already standing up so I turned to meet him. He started to scold me while I just didn't pay any attention. He then said he FORBIDS me from meeting Uncle Abg and Lovely Mama even though they are my aunt and uncle. I defiantly shook my head in a way to show that that will never happen, unless I die then I won't meet them. He started screaming and shouting at me again. He stood up and approached me, wanting to hit me but I 'elak' uh. I'm not stupid enough to get beaten up for things that I am not wrong for. JAMAL is an ASS HOLE. Only one thing I want to thank him, thanks for bringing me into this world. Other than that, I hate him.

I forbid myself from crying but when I think about Mama Idah, I teared. If only Mama Idah was with me. I then started texting with Scar. I thought I was fine but when I told him what happened, my eyes were teary again. I scolded and curse myself. I hate myself for being weak. Why am I so weak? Why must I cry? Then, I slept in the midst of my sadness.

At 1:05am I woke up to 'solat Tahajjud'. After that I slept again.

Monday 6 July
Pala Buto reached home and started screaming my name again. I ignored his calling. I've made up my mind, I'm going to meet the 3 ladies who's going to confirm my future this weekend.

1) Junaidah Bte Basrum (please meet me)
2) Nor Lela Bte Hakim (let's discuss 'bout my mom)
3) Noraishah Bte Idris (will you support me? your kids hates me!)

It's My Life - no link to the post I admit

2009-07-02T21:45:00.002+08:00

Currently hearing: Nae Meoriga Nabbaseo

First day of school 29 June
No morning assembly, proceeded to the new classroom. The first sit I chose was the front row near the Teacher's table 'cause there's a fan there. Mrs Heng then changed our seating arrangement. I'm still in the front row though, the center row. Have a new partner, Wei Ming. B seat nearby though and aww I know he misses me. (grinning) Esah, Yun and I kept on talking about LOL. Facts only lar 'bout their immaturity mostly. Headed home and sleep like never before.

Scar: Eh besok hari ape uh?
Ajay: 30 June, Birthday Aan, asal? (rolling eyes)

Second day of school 30 June
Happy Birthday Someone! I know and I admit my attitude sucks to the fullest that day and I also know I've apologised just now like twice? trice? Mdm Heng entered our classroom in the morn. She was saying that some of us our live is already in a MESS and we could get out of that mess by at least getting a decent cert. PE, checked Height and Weight and I'm SHRINKING! Commenting on people playing soccer. We know they don't. Homed and sleep.

Third day of school 1 July
Didn't talk much to Syaza. Instead 'Talk Marathon' with Esah. Had oral practice again. Yesterday too. Scar and I was being 'reprimanded' again. Oral practice is meant to talk right? And that's what we were doing lor! Scar was already talking to me about New Year's eve! He was asking whether want celebrate together or not this year. LOL. Then he asked me about Ahmad Qaiyum and Md Afiq. And yeah we touched on our FRIENDSHIP with him too. Yes Aan, you.

Fourth day of school 2 July
Had fun during Math with Wei Ming, pointing out Wendy mistakes. Did target setting yet again. MT, oral again. Scar and I again. He did something cute I guess, he put our name on his Target Setting paper. AJAYism, Scarvilism. I wasn't sure if he put Aan name 'cause Aan once commented that his name was so the BUROK! After school, saw an ambulance at the gate. First thought, 'No, No way, It's not Aan' but I was wrong. It was him. When I reached the first floor Scar confirmed with me that it is Aan. Like I told Aan, I was BLANK. Walked home with Yuyun. I can't FORCE myself to sleep and my tongue NEVER stops 'berdoa' for even a while. Was texting many people at one go 'cause I don't know, I just didn't feel right. Finally texted Aan. I can't lie to myself okay! I do care for that IDIOT of mine. Instantly, all anger I had for him VANISHED. I was texting with Scar too. I even forced AFIQ to call me when he was with his girlfriend. After texting with Aan and getting confirmation that he is all better, I can finally sleep but yeah Yuyun guessed it, I didn't wake up for 'Buka' yet again. Makruh!

Qaiyum still giving me the cold shoulder. I just rub it off 'cause I'm confident later on he would say "I was waiting for you, you know" I gotta feeling it's the same case here unless I'm wrong 'cause he after all has Iynaa. Scar texted me and said he's sick. SHIT! MT 'O' is tomorrow man! Sukarno Ahmad, GET BETTER SOON lar bodoh! Bitch betol. Amacam aku nak 'PRACTICE' oral nanti. (Sarcastic smile) Please Please get well soon. If you're not coming tomorrow than I no mood already leh!

Afiq called at around 8pm. We talked for about an hour or so and 'cause I know he's tired, I let him rest.

Not forgiving is a DEADLY poison. One day, that poison will take its toil on yourself. -So not worth it.

Laila Majnun & Ashabul Kahfi - also I miss ytd

2009-06-28T22:33:00.002+08:00

There was an error in the timing of the previous post. It was suppose to be 11:58pm. Not logical for my dad to be angry with me for being home early right?

Lately, I'm very interested in the story of 'Laila Majnun' and 'Ashabul Kahfi'. Both are very touching story and it's a TRUE story especially ashabul kahfi. It's about ALLAH's greatness. Can you imagine, sleeping for 309 years and yet alive. On the other hand, the love story between Layla and Majnun is another touching one. From what I know it is a TRUE story, not like Romeo and Juliet. It is either spelled Laila/Layla but I choose to spell it Laila. 'Laila Majnun' is a popular love story in the Islamic world. And suddenly, I am very much interested to know more of my religion background and stories in detail.

Tercatat sudah dalam sejarah
Tujuh pemuda yang beriman
Melarikan diri ke dalam gua
Demi menyelamatkan iman

Disangka tidur hanya sehari
Rupanya 309 tahun
Zaman bertukar beberapa kurun
Di bumi bersejarah Urdhu

Begitulah kuasa Ilahi
Kepada ashabul kahfi
Tiada mustahil di dunia ini
Jika kita beriman dan bertakwa

Tercatat sudah dalam sejarah
Tujuh pemuda yang beriman
Tulang belulang berserakan
Tulah dari binatang tunggangan
Juga anjing yang dijanjikan syurga
Qitmir yang mulia

Yes, the story of 'Ashabul Kahfi', along with the seven men, there was a dog with them. Enough about that, BACK TO REALITY

School will be starting tomorrow. I don't care anymore. After these 2-4months, I will not have to study subjects that I dislike. Apart from that, I'm looking forward to the 6 months holiday after O level examination. So, I will not be partying all night long for at least 16 weeks. After that, who's going to stop me? Underage party here I come! Riyan, you have to bring me along. If not, I'm going to HATE you like never before 'cause you're always the one who said to me:

'Bila mau clubbing girl?'

I hate that you know! Once was not enough for me. I want to groove all night long. And I still remember that hot guy. LOL. So the next time I'll go out will be in July and August.

July - Poly Experience
August - Uncle&Yan birthday celebration and also meeting baby Shafiq

God I miss yesterday outing already. I want to talk to Yan some more. I want to torture him and make him send me home. (grinning wickedly) Yan is like Riyan replacement for me. Riyan lives in Clemeti. GOD, who wants to go there every now and then just to TALK? So, Yan, get ready to 'layan' me okay boy? And, bring your son along whenever you're meeting me okay?

That's all for now, ASSALAMUALAIKUM

BOY-GIRL Partner.-Yan

2009-06-28T01:29:00.003+08:00

Saturday 11:58am

Thanks Yan for sending me home. Uncle just said 'Hantar Nonoi sampai Bangkit' and so when we reached Bangkit shopped I said to Yan 'Hantar Nonoi sampai sini jer.' He said 'dier diamanahkan' to send me home safe and sound. Aww so sweet. So I said uh, 'Then kalau Uncle tak suro hantar Yan tak hantar uh ni?' He just said don't know. God I hate him at first. I don't know why but I just do. Yan and me, same case. At first he not really okay with Uncle while I, dislike Sasha but now, Yan is so closed to Uncle while I, close to Sasha.

Outing with Uncle, Sasha, the kids and Yan was an enjoyable one. Everyone had a partner, Girl-Boy partner. I was so fickled-minded. At first I want to cut, then I don't then I want to cut again then I don't. In the end I did not 'cause I want to keep my hair long. Yan 'ejek me' ASS you! His family is a family friend. Arwah Nek Milah took care of him when he was young, his playmate was Riyan. Yan is eight years older than me but trust me, even after being a father of one, he's attitude is still that of a teenager.

I treat him as a long lost brother. Even though this few weeks we have been meeting everytime he came to visit Uncle while I visit Sasha, we BARELY talk, until today. He was shocked to know from Uncle that I am Nonoi the small girl he used to know. And just now during our outing Yan said this:

Yan anak first, Nonoi second, Abg third, Adek fourth. Kite happy family!

I was like 'kepale otak Yan! Daddy ngan Mama kite umor 35 abeh first child umor 24 tak logik sak pike zaman dulu per?'

But the most shocking thing for today is went Sasha talked to me in PRIVATE. She was selling Yan off. This is what she said:

Walaupon Yan ade tattoo sane sini, dier tetap baek. Kan Nonoi kate tanak ade anak, nak adopt anak. Gi uh ngan Yan, dier da ade anak, Nonoi takyah adopt!

WHAT THE FUCK! did she forget I am only 16? Sasha Sasha. Senget sial otak! Surprisingly, one of the question Yan asked when he sent me home was that, 'Nonoi da de Boifren?' My answer surprisingly yet again was VERY TEGAS, 'Takde! I am INDEPENDENT! Nonoi tak akan depend on a guy and I will NEVER let a guy depend on me!' He was speechless.

Okay enough of me and Yan story. FLASHBACK!

Reached Petir at around 4pm. Yan reached there at around 5pm. I was restless so I bring the kids to BPP first. Saw Alang and his cousin. After which, meet up with Sasha, Uncle and Yan at the busstop. Inside the busstorp, a group of minahrep was making noise, we were all standing. When this nice man gave up his seat for Sasha and the kids, that is when the guy leader of the pack noticed Uncle. He was like "Eh Malee! Lame tak jumpe uh! Dengar2 kau baru kahwin kan?" That is all fine but when he said this line I swear to ALLAH I feel like shredding his mouth!
"Malee kau da berubah? Alah, sampai biler? Brubah balek uh! Besok gi beach nak, kite party?"

I stare right at Uncle and I know, one of the man was looking at me 'cause I kept on staring. Sasha told me about the guy too and I was like, 'Dorang nak sial biar dorang sial sdirik uh tak payah nak ajak Uncle aku!' After we alight, I told Uncle off and Yan asked me to cool down. Sasha just replied "Tau lar naseb dier kalau dier jahanam balek. Nanti bukan gi Beach tau, aku bagi dier BITCH!" finally I laugh and the atmoshpere was right again. Saw Rizal and his girlfriend at Chong Pang. He was staring at me so Uncle 'tegor' him. Rizal family also a friend of my family. Today, many things, many people that I meet and dislike.

Our last stop was Sasha gan-mama house. There was a baby boy in the house, Saiful, and he is so cute and chubby. I carried him for a long time. Yan was outside smoking, When Yan came in, Saiful wants Yan to carry him. Aww. Yan is a daddy after all. My request to Yan is that, he bring his son, Syafiq, along when we go out next time. He promised me this August as we will be celebrating his birthday and Uncle birthday as well. Looking forward to it.

When I reached home, after washing up, I prayed. I felt at ease after praying. I pray for a lot of people and I feel good. And yeah, I remembered clearly the PRIVATE conversation Sasha talked to me about.

With that, ASSALAMUALAIKUM.

I HURT myself today! YIKES!

2009-06-27T01:51:00.009+08:00

He will always be remembered.

And so, Today was the Dance Party. Sincerely, it doesn't feel like a party at all. And yeah, it wasn't that memorable. Nevertheless, I enjoyed my shopping today. In total, I spent $35.50 excluding food and miscellaneous. Went there with Yuyun. It was like History class, learning all the lorongs name. After today, let's focus on our Ns and Os okay? Make ourselves PROUD. After that, we can enjoy again just like today. SHOPPING not just walking around. Today alone I bought a new dress-hoody, watch, bag and shawl. Few days back bought my hair accessories, ANKLET and another pair of earrings!

JDs - 2yrs 5mths 1day

3 Generation Chairman from left to right:
Safura Zaini Chairman'09, Nur Afisah Jamal Chairman '08, Toh Yan Ling Chairman '07

Congratulation to the new commitee. Do your best in guiding the dancers. As for the 08-09 commitee batch, it was nice working with you guys. May we are given the chance to work as a TEAM again!

After which, bused to Petir with Yuyun, as for Qiara, her brother fetch her. Met her up at 7pm and spent our times together all the way coming to 12am. Reached home, while I was in a hurry to get to the toilet, I hit my head against the metal pillar of my bathroom door. My forehead bled and I felt like fainting. I know it is not allowed but I called ALLAH's name in the toilet 'cause I can't bear the pain. I felt very (times 3) GIDDY. Nash accompanied me to buy medication and plaster. Sasha want to meet me tomorrow. If it's serious she want to send me to the doctor.

I knew something aint right. My 'firasat' is somehow accurate but I was 'lalai'. I never cared about it anymore. Few days back I kept on seeing a white thing flying across outside my window. It wasn't clear so I just ignored it. I hurt my right ear today 'cause i accidentally pulled my earring. My left eyes and also right has been twitching these few days too. And just now, the most wake up call, I bled because I hit my head against that metal pillar.

'Tiada Tuhan Selain Allah, Nabi Muhammad Pesuruh Allah'

Cinta Sang Ratu was the first book that I read. Bagaikan Puteri next and I have finished Hijab Sang Pencinta. Yeah, has completed reading the trilogy. Sasha has finished reading 'Andai Itu Takdirnya' too. I want read books only. But again, Os coming AJAY!

I do not have much to say anymore, ASSALAMUALAKUM.

Why?

2009-06-25T18:02:00.002+08:00

Why every time I felt BLISS, sadness overcome me TWICE? -pondering

I felt damn lazy today. I think my bones are almost breaking due to excessive outings. I know and I realised so that I should not be playing too hard right now but I'm just UNSTOPPABLE. I can't seem to control myself. Dad has been reprimanding me almost every single day 'cause I always reached home at 11pm - 12am. Even though it's not worst as last time, up to 3am, Dad has been making lots of noise. As much as he said I don't understand him, he don't understand me TRICE. I don't want him to understand either. It's too late. I don't need his concern. I am INDEPENDENT after all. I don't need sympathy nor pity from any one.

Uncle has last minute work to attend, I on the other hand recovering from my backache. Sasha was gloomy. Last Sunday when I went to the Library alone she was scolding me telling me why I didn't asked her along. Funny Lady. We are too close already. It scares me. Because our relationship is almost similar to my past relationship with Mama Idah. I don't want HISTORY to repeat itself though I'm confident this time the situation is different. Yes, I can sense your love for me. I thank you for that. But then again, I asked myself, 'Do I deserve such love?'

As for now, I just hope to complete my Os fast enough and get a good grade. After my Os, I will stay with Ibu. As the days goes by, I can't stand Dad any longer. All his scolding motivates me to live with Ibu more and more. I just hope this is the right decision. This is the most MAJOR and live changing decision that I have ever made. Sasha suggested Bishan. Wow. 'Cause I told her I don't want to live anywhere near Bukit Panjang, Yishun, Woodlands and Jurong. I can only plan for now, let ALLAH decide for me later.

With that, ASSALAMUALAIKUM.

Kiss Him Goodbye! Vs So What!

2009-06-25T00:04:00.004+08:00

Annyeong readers! Do make an effort to read my Post Title before reading my post aite? So currently, that's how I'm feeling right now. I feel like he's no longer going to be part of the most important people in my life. With that, Goodbye dear one. On the other hand, I'm AJAY! So What? I won't give a SH!T about these kind of people. I'm alright, I'm fine. Like I said, I don't need friends if they're going to give me SH!T. Think about it people, friends aren't related to you. You fight, don't talk, lose contact and don't want to have anything to do with each other no more. But family, no matter how much you say you want nothing to do with them, you are still related by blood, somehow. That's what I learnt in life. I finally learnt that lesson. A very meaningful one.

So Transformers WIN!! watch it yesterday. I woke up late. Uncle called me 8 times in a row. I silent my phone so no matter how many time you called, I ain't waking up. He called Nash and asked him to wake me up. Bathe, clothe and off. We went to McPherson first. There was these two god damn BIG DOGS guarding a house. Went Sasha, the kids and I get off the cab, the dogs just started barking. It sent shivers down my spine of course. I was cursing and swearing loudly at the dog in return. Sasha shush me and said it's BETTER if I 'berdoa' rather than cursing the dogs. After Sasha whatever meeting, we headed to Toa Payoh. Walked around, ate, walked around again. Then, MRTed to Bishan.

Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen was very nice plus funny plus touching to watch. I was damn carried by emotion when Optimus Prime died at the starting of the show. HAH! But he was revived in the end! This time, the director of the film add the elements of laughter to the movie. It was a happy ending. Both Autobots and Decepticons now can live happily together eh?

Brothers were disgust with my very much interest in the movie. Hey, I'm only 16. I can still enjoy and be freaks over these kind of robots and stuff right? Oh yeah now I remembered! Nurul Jannah Saifulbahri, if you're reading this,

I, AJAY PROTAG. HAVE WATCHED TRANSFORMERS REVENGE OF THE FALLEN!

haha. That 2:01am text message really disturbs me. You read my blog, that's fine. The thing that I wrote was post weeks ago and you only mentioned it now? Whatever.

Among the 3 of us, Afiq has been having the most FUN eh? Okay, I am no DIFFERENT. I've been going out almost everyday. Oh yeah, talked to Sasha about me wanting a tattoo. She was like are you sure? Haha then she said this: One lesson that I learnt is, NEVER, tattoo the name of the guy you are currently with 'cause when you're no longer together, it really irritates the HELL out of you to see his name tattooed on your body.

So I was asking her, does that mean she approved? She didn't reply though. Talking 'bout that reminds me of Qaiyum. Among the 3 of us, he is the one not having fun at all. I miss you, you know. But I know that she needs, care and miss you more.

Going to the salon tomorrow, yeah you guess it, with my GILAKz family. Hah, Uncle called me Anak Tuer 'cause I make the card writing his name as Adik Tuer! (insert sad face) And I finally bought a new ANKLET today after weeks and months of wanting a new one. I ain't dancing anytime soon so this anklet of mine won't 'putus' okay!

As for today, went out at 2plus and homed at 9. Few more days to enjoy before working my arse off! with that, you guessed it;

Lots of Love, ASSALAMUALAIKUM.

I love Noraishah Idris

2009-06-23T00:37:00.003+08:00

Lovely Mama, I was pissed off with you today but nevertheless, I can't seem to be angry with you for a long time eh? Jannah would know why. We waited for like hours. She arrived at 4:30pm mind you and we said we will meet at 2:30pm. I was cursing and swearing or course! She reached like Superstar jer macam nak kene SMACK!

Talked in the library for a while, met Uncle, Boi and Yan at KFC. Ate our meal after all of us not eating for 2 days. Uncle, Boi and Yan went off left me with THEM again. Went to the library yet again. Help Sasha read up on pregnancy stuff. I didn't realised I was reading aloud until people around was looking at me. I give them the 'What The Fuck' look and continued reading. It's the Children Section after all. You are allowed to make a little noise which I did not! I was reading man! Finally paid my $9.60 books fine! And I also finally get to borrow 'Bagaikan Puteri'. Borrowed 'Andai Itu Takdirnya' yet again. Borrowed another one for Jannah as well. After hearing a brief summary of andai itu takdirnya, Sasha 'gatal' want to borrow it from me. She said the story seems to be sad and interesting. Whatever - rolling my eyes!

After which, there was a 'Dog Training Programme' at the Garden Plaza. We stayed there for like hours or so. Walked them home and then Uncle sent me to the LRT.

As for lesson, met up with Ais and Yun before going to school. We sat like the 'Apek' at the so call resident corner enjoying our conversation. Oh yeah, thanks Scarvie dearie for the morning treat! and, that person eh should really return your $ kan? Physics and SS was hokay! and I was telling the ladies that the Bank cheat my MONEY which is absolutely not true lar!

Not attending lesson tomorrow. Will be accompanying Lovely Mama. We fought about what movie to watch tomorrow. I want watch Transformer while she wants to watch Terminator! What the HELL. Don't care! I'm so going to fight for Transformer! And yeah as soon as Uncle gets his leave, we will be watching Ice Age 3! I know, school will be reopen by then but this is like the last movie I'll be watching before, GOD I hate keep on saying that word. Hiatus!

Oh yar, and early in the morning when I reached school, Scar welcome me with middle finger while Jian Wei welcome me with the 'What the Fuck' handsign! (insert sad face!)

And sweetie pie MD AFIQ INSAK posted the 'Best Of Friends' picture on his blog and said he only miss us a bit?! When I meet him I'm so going to WHACK him!

Lots of Love. ASSALAMUALAIKUM

It's the desicion I've chosen, I won't regret it.

2009-06-22T00:14:00.003+08:00

I am THE Protagonist - Your approval isn't needed

In love with Optimus Prime (not inside below) & Bumblebee!

Today, as in Sunday, I went out alone. I think through some stuff and has made some MAJOR decision. The decision that I made will require me to go through changes which I dislike. But, I will get through it. I just hope I've done the thing.

I have decided to stay with my REAL Ibu after O level. Dad has been pressurizing me too much until I didn't realized I was under so much pressure. I've discussed this with Uncle and Sasha. And just now, I've discussed it with my brother, Nash. I asked for his opinion and that if he don't like me decision, he should voiced it out. He agreed with me. He can't stand it too. He misses living with Ibu. When I asked him about dad, he asked me back. Hello! we've been living with him since they divorce and we got used to it without mom and now, we just have to face the same thing all over.

After O level, Uncle and Sasha is going to help me get us a house. I told Uncle and Sasha that they can stay with us. After all, it's not mom who's going to manage everything, ME! and so in another word, I'm the HEAD of the house. I can't do it. Let Uncle do the job. I know my mom, she would not mind as long as her sons are with her. I told Nash that I want Uncle and Sasha to move in with us, he said he don't mind so I don't see any problem with getting along.

I don't know why but I was stressed out today. I smoke and it feels great. That sensation in the throat. I know I'm not suppose to and friends won't be happy to find out but what has been done cannot be undone.

Found out that Qaiyum's going to be release on Monday, today. Just hope he has learn his lesson. I won't be there for him anymore. There is someone who has take my place and I'm sure she will do just fine. I just hope Qaiyum would let her try to understand him. That's his MAJOR problem. He's always not letting his girlfriend know him. What is his problem? This is not the end of my relationship with Qaiyum. It's just a, I can't think of any word right now to describe this. I'll just pray for his happiness then.

I felt great after getting my ESCAPE without anyone I know around me. But memories from the past flock in without being invited. I love NOW.

Lots of Love, ASSALAMUALAIKUM

Well, I wore 2 dresses out of the 3 outings

2009-06-20T16:47:00.006+08:00

For this week alone, I've gone out for 3 times with Lovely Mama and the children.

Wednesday: Meet them at Chong Pang and then we cabbed to Jurong; Mama Idah house but sadly she wasn't home. Then we bused to Jurong Point. Mama and I had fun walking around while Uncle is such a SPOILER. Keep on rushing us.

Thursday: Lovely Mama, the kids and I went to Causeway Point to meet Riyan. He did something to his hair yet again. Riyan was another SPOILER, keep on rushing Lovely Mama and I. Can you believed it, Lovely Mama and I was sitting at COURTS sofa for more than 20 minutes, talking.

Friday: I brought baby brother along 'cause Lovely Mama wants to see him. Went to Causeway Point yet again. Eat and then we catch a movie, Monster Vs Alien. Okayla. I wanted to watch Transformer but it wasn't out yet. Aez enjoyed himself. Throughout the day, cramp was killing me but I just make myself strong. Aez and I reached home around 11+. This Chinese uncle asked me if Aez was my son. I was giving him the 'Mind your Own Business' look. To think of it, I don't mind having a child (Adopted) now.

I took a BET with Uncle. Tomorrow, we're going out yet again. Father's Day! Uncle said that there is no Swensen in Vivo City while Lovely Mama and I said that there IS Swensen in Vivo. So tomorrow, we're going there to celebrate Father's Day and to check if there is Swensen there. If there is, Uncle will be treating us if there is not, he has yet to tell us what's our punishment.

Today is our ENERGY RECOVERING day. Tomorrow, is like the last day of enjoyment for me. But if the holiday is officially extended, of course it won't be the last!

To these friends of mine, if you think I've changed, than you're right. To me, I've changed for the better. I love my life right now. I don't need people like you guys to ruin that. If you guys think that this apply to you or not, you guys are thinking right. Ever heard of the saying 'Siape makan cili terase pedasnye?' So kalo tak makan cili takyah la nak terase okay? After expressing myself to the 2 coolest people in my life and after getting assurance from them, I don't care about friends anymore. Don't get hurt MY FRIENDS, of course I treasure you guys still. What I'm trying to get across is that, I'm not afraid anymore. If one day you guys think I'm not the best of friends and want to not befriend me anymore, I won't take it to heart 'cause I know I will survive without you guys. The top, I'm referring to certain. The Middle part, it refers to all who are considered my friends okay?

Lots of Love from me to you, ASSALAMUALAIKUM.

Hello!

2009-06-18T03:24:00.003+08:00

Image by Skyewolfe Designs & Photography via Flickr

Time check; 3:29am.

Studying has been very FUN and Interesting. Seriously, no sarcasm what so ever. In order to study, you must know the right STRATEGIES right? and I have found it. I guess, attending the 3 days Motivational Camp was worth it after all. I can speed revise and at the same time understanding the content. Monday wasn't on the schedule but since outing was pushed back to Wednesday, decided to study on Monday.

Monday, revised Physics chapter 1-4 but after which, since I was so motivated to study, I further on revised chapter 5-8. Before revising, watched Transformer with brothers.

Tuesday, revised chapter 9&10 and continue with studying chapter 11&12. For the mid-year, I studied chapter 1-10 so for those chapters only need to revise. When I see chapter 11, I wanted to stop but when I look at my wall saying "I want to score well for Os" & "I am committed", I kept on studying. All these little reminders are all I need. And, constant psycho my brain. And as a reward, I watched 2 movies online. The Reader and Dance Flick.

Wednesday, meet up with dearest Lovely Mama and Uncle. They were from Woodlands and I from home, meet them at Chong Pang. Mama washed her hair at the salon and then Uncle asked us to go to The Elders house. In the bus then Mama say she don't want. Uncle then suggested we go to Jurong. Yeah, Mama's house. Mama Idah I mean, not Lovely Mama. But, she wasn't home. We stayed for a while and off to JP. Yes, it's bigger but still not really the place I will go to shop. No budget man. Cabbed home and gave them the card I made. Lovely Mama cried, she was touched. Uncle and Mama then assured me that no matter what happen, we will stick together. Thank you you guys.

Reached home, continued studying Physics chapter 13&14. And now, I think I want to watch another movie online. And for the recent months, I've been watching movies a lot. Last month alone I watched Hannah Montana the Movie, Ghost of Girlfriend's Past, a Korean movie (I forgot the title) and 17 Again. This Month, Land of the Lost, The Reader, Dance Flick and ?

Aitey aite, till here then and by the way, I'm still in HIATUS okay! LOL

End of Motivational Camp

2009-06-14T22:54:00.002+08:00

I have officially ended my 3 days Motivational Camp. Yes I know, what the HELL am I doing here. Tomorrow is the day my contract will end so today is the REAL last day. Of course I'll use it. The camp overall was a GOOD one.

"I see FIRE in your EYES" by Boy Fire. LOL

First day
Came late. Reached school after they had taken lunch. Did target setting and time management. Separated into 2 groups and I was in Wee Ming's group. By the way, my 2 instructors name are Jun Jie and Wee Ming. Jun Jie looks like Song Woo Bin. While Wee Ming looks like this Chinese actor which I do not know the name. Did not really do much on the first day. Played MRT stations and Goggles.

Second day
Came on time. Learn how to remember 10-20 things effectively. We also did mind-mapping which I detest a lot. What else is there? Oh yeah, I use my right brain and left brain a lot. The only difference between my Right and Left brain is only by one point. Other than that, I'm also an auditory and visual person with a little touch of kinaesthetic. Scolding session was crappy.

Third day.
Went to school with Bil. Had fun. Faz, Yun, Bil and I. Shit, I forgot what we did in the morning. Oh yeah, speed reading, power reading and SQ3R. All these strategies are VERY useful. And after Adrian spoke to us, I realised I've been studying all wrong. Played games in whole with the class. We played character game. James Bond, Superman, Tree and Macho man. It was damn funny I tell you and we were SUPER LOUD. Because of that, we are even the last class to go for the closing.

Grr something stupid happen during the closing. Noisy and uneducated people behind. Don't understand the meaning of silence. Yun shut them up and they replied LOL. The 3 of us just shut up at first 'cause no point creating a scene and let others know how stupid and childish they are. After the closing. Just happened they were a few metres infront of us and so we started the SARCASM game. How come uh they got no more voice to reply? Meet them again at LRT and Esah said they say something like shut up so I say back uh, "Shut Up? LOL uh LOL!" Haa and we keep on saying let's SPA with them. Nonsense human.

By the way, I'm just typing out what happened in MY LIFE today and so if you think part of it was about you and are hurt about it, okay, the normal, let's meet. This is if you happen to pass by lar.

And to this particular best friend of mine, I want to say this out LOUD AND CLEAR, I, Nur Afisah Bte Jamal am not guilty in one way or another. I just have a feeling lar you're not happy with me about this particular thing, whatever it is. I have the right to say whatever I want. Unless you didn't read my profile, I shoot my mouth off and hurt others feeling. Even if you're my best friend, my mouth just say what they feel like saying and which is TRUE most importantly. You will know one day, trust me best friend.

Hakimi sachok guy!! Afiq, you've yet to tell me more (=
- it's an OBSESSION (temporary)

ASSALAMMUALAIKUM

HIATUS - hopefully

2009-06-12T21:34:00.003+08:00

Well, my Internet contract going to end next week and dad says he don't want to renew it. Thanks eh? So that means, this blog going to be in HIATUS yet again. Unless I go somewhere and update lar.

Woke up at 1+pm today. Many missed calls and texts received. Bathe and off to school. Meet Scarvie, B and Yong. Misses them much. But didn't talk much to B today. Kutti Boi is an arsehole. such a liar. Fought with him yesterday on which animal suits us. I'm a MONKEY weeweet! He's a PIG. ahaha and Scar is a DOG!

Scar and Yong didn't see me in class and so both of them were surprised to see me. Delighted. ahaha. Told the girls about HAKIMI sachok guy. Finally. haha. The camp was okay lar. Our instructors were Junjie and Wei Ming. Not my classmates of course, the instructors. We played this MRT station game and goggles. FUN sia.

End of the session, E3&E4 were in the Dance Studio. We played BOMBS for a while. and we keep on saying "FIRE FIRE!" & "I SEE FIRE IN YOUR EYES". and dots. (=

So, with that, Happy Hiatus to me. Now I can only typed my days in notepad. BooHoo! misses misses misses from me to you. ASSALAMMUALAIKUM.

I Finally got it

2009-06-12T04:32:00.002+08:00

Like my title says, I finally got it. No wander my heart suddenly wanted to find out more about you, what's up with you during the last week. You had patch things up with her. Thanks eh makhluk Tuhan. Perangai kau dari dulu sampai sekarang tak perna nk pikekan perasaan aku. And since kau da okay dengan dier, kau buat bodoh dengan aku eh? Fine lar, I told myself before I don't want to give you my trust 100% lagi pon.

Look on the bright side AJAY. Afiq finally told me his name; Hakimi, after twisting and turning my words. Ahaha. Hakimi Sachok guy. I like the sound of that.

I will just pretend that everything is okay. Yeah I've read her blog, you are released on the 23. Guess what, I'll be there for you ONLY, not wholly. Meaning, don't think I'll care for you with whole of my heart anymore. Goodbye asshole.

Shit ass, my intention of blogging at this time was to say how much I miss you but now? You turned the table around.

2 Dress - Chosen by Uncle and Sasha. TRAGIC PSP

2009-06-12T00:37:00.004+08:00

Another tired look picture.

After reaching home at 11:40pm

Pink dress was chosen by Uncle while Black by Sasha.

So after the little squabble with gramps, Sasha plan to watch Land of the Lost. Uncle called me and asked me to get ready. Was really lazy so I said I didn't want to follow. Sasha forced me out. So go to 'rumah bawah' waited for Sasha to get ready then we cabbed to Bugis. Bought the tickets and watch the show. It was nice lar but not exactly the type of movie I will watch. It was a little bit hilarious too. After that, we shopped! Accompany Sasha browsing through rows and rows of bags. Uncle bought his HUGO perfume. Then proceeded to buy Adek and Abg shoes. After that, Sasha wanted to buy new dress. Uncle told Sasha to choose for me two dresses as well. Like I said on top, Uncle chose the pink one for me while Sasha chose the black one. They said the next time I went out with them, 'NO JEANS ALLOWED'. What the hell. Then I guess it will be a long time before I go out with them again.

Abang was so gatal! He brought along his PSP and now, POOF! it's gone. Adek's PSP was stolen at the playground last Thursday and now Abang's. Sasha was damned pissed off. Before that, Adek wanted McFlurry and so we went to the Mac. Sial uh, from counter to kitchen, it was all guys. That abg gave Adek and Abang each a happy meal toys for free. And yet we only bought one McFlurry. Sasha like fuck say "Tu pasal AJAY pakai expose mcm BEST" thanks eh?

Uncle sent me to the taxi stand and so I board the taxi alone. The rest were still searching high and low for the PSP. The taxi driver I tell you was damn scary. He took this very quiet and dark road. Luckily after that he go by the road I'm familiar with. I don't know why but my heart did a somersault. Texted uncle throughout. After 'bace doa' don't know how many time, I was back home safe and sound.

Friday, Saturday, Sunday. School: 8am - 9pm. one word: FUCK!

Trustable One, Small and AJAY did something STUPID today

2009-06-11T15:59:00.002+08:00

Me: Eh Qaiyum smalam ngan ari ni online tak? tu anak majok lagi sial ngan aku.
A: Aku tak prasan lak. asal? ape jadi?
Me: (tell him 'bout wad) smalam kan dier turon court tu aku nk tau amcm
A: Ouhh haiyo. mcm2 betol lah kwn2 aku nie semuer. haha lek2 haiyo.
Me: Bestfren kau uh tu. aku nudge dier mcm nk rak last week dier boh pian ngan aku sial
A: Ok ok lek2. aku tknk uh korang binget2 dgn each other.

So that was part of my conversation with Afiq darling in the wee of Thursday morning today. Asked him about the Idiot but Afiq didn't realised whether he's online or not. Oh well, I'll just pretend I don't care then.

Woke up late and yet I slept again. Reached school at 9+am. Continued with coursework then it was break. Sit and ate with Yun, Syaz, Tykus and Tasha. After which, we proceeded back to class. Hilarious stuff happens. OMG it was so fucking funny lor. And ladies let's check it out later okay whether there's improvement or not. Homed and slept. Pissed off with dad and gramps. It was HELL man. And, weather is so frigging hot. Texted with Sasha after I woke up. Now nothing to talk about so didn't reply her text.

I realised that I've not been showing support for Afiq much enough. Since primary school, Qaiyum and I just give the 'Whatever' attitude when Afiq was asking comments from us about his singing. Well now, I'm proud of him. He has a band of his own which has lots of ups and downs in it but he persevered through and hold things together for the sake of having his own band. I'm happy that his school give positive support to his band, asking them to have mini gig here and there. I don't know, I just can't seem to even things out. It's always I'm caring about Qaiyum business way too much. Nevertheless, I love Afiq just as much. What will I do without him?

Yuyun give me a comment just now which I love it very much.
'Bile kau baek dengan satu, kau baek dengan semuer eh.'

That's what people mean when guys needs ladies in their life. I'm not boasting here but it's true. My Afiq and Qaiyum, what will they do without me? Qaiyum the one with a HUMONGOUS ALTER EGO, Afiq the one who will not dare to voice things out until I'm the one scolding him to stand up for himself. As for me, I'm not perfect neither do I want to be. Being PERFECT is so BORING. You can't improve on anything and all you can do is rot to death.

And from the look of it, with Sasha current condition, holiday trip most probably cancelled. It's okay. The baby is more important. Eh lady, take care or yourself okay. I can't afford to be taking care of a baby and a sick mummy as well. I love you hardcore!

I miss karaoke-ing. Uncle, remember how we used to karaoke almost every week from morning to night during weekends? Things changes too fast. AJAY no like. Your niece here hope that one day, everything will be BETTER and everybody will be HAPPIER. AMIN.

With LOVE from me to You, Assalammualaikum.
psst: Sasha just texted me asking to see the movie slot for Land of the Lost. HAHAHAHA.

2 1/2 hour practical = Leg Tired

2009-06-11T00:37:00.003+08:00

The Protagonist - I don't give a damn

It's 12:44am on a Thursday wee morning.

Tuesday went to school. English lesson was alright. Mrs Heng gave out chocolate during lesson and she teaches us how to eat a chocolate properly. Was seated with Life Savior(LS) 2 during the two English lessons. F&N after that. Before that, I went to the studio to meet up some of the dancers. Nothing has changed. They are still as weak as ever. F&N for the first time, Yun, Me and Small didn't go off first. Reached LRT, sent them off. Walked halfway through the walk way, Uncle Abg called and asked me to turn to the back. He ask me go to 'rumah bawah'. It was funny, I was like confidence that I brought my card then when Uncle Abg tapped his card already, then I told him I didn't bring my card. He tapped out again but in the end, I smuggle in 'cause he said he don't want to wait for me, go and take my card. Meet Sasha. Misses her so much. The duos were happy to see me. Happy me. Watched Anugerah at 'rumah bawah' it was hilarious. Sasha, Me and Uncle Abg kept on commenting. We are BAD! And we named this person 'MENTAL'. irritated sia. Reached home at watch the result show in my room. After which, Nash accompany me to the shop to buy sauce. I miss my brothers so much. Even Aez went home on that Tuesday.

Wednesday. Woke up, dilly dally and I even used the laptop. Get ready my stuff. Aez made me do housework in the morning sia. Scolded him and he quickly went back to sleep. Bought watermelon before meeting Yuyun at the station. She looked like as if she just came back from 'pasar' sia. Then waited for Syaz and off we walked to school. The practical was okay I guess. The only dish that 'cock up' for me is the 'Watermelon & Sago Cream'. Tuna Sandwich was okay lar. My Queen Cake which I HAD NEVER bake before, 'JADI!' Spaghetti - No Problemo. I always cook it mah. Reached home, let brothers taste it. I felt bad, they wanted some more Queen Cake and Spaghetti but I didn't give them 'cause I promised Sasha I'll bring over for her. Sasha, Adek, Abg and Uncle Abg love it. They even asked me to bake it for Hari Raya. Fat Hope! Abg and Adek eat the Spaghetti till finish and yet they wanted more. Lepak and off to home.

Didn't realised Yong was inside the same train. He just came back from takraw. Tak habez-habez sia. And it was the first time eh kau salam aku. Bagos ade perubahan. LOL. Oh yar, my Malay was totally 'cock up' today. Uncle Abg and Sasha didn't understand what I was saying. At home, spent quality time with brothers, then I switched on this laptop of mine.

I forgot to mention the most unforgettable thing. Syaz will know exactly what I'm talking about. People, when you want to bathe, PLEASE CLOSE THE DOOR! We saw nothing and we didn't want to see anything. It was an almost thing. It scares the hell out of us.

I wore the earrings I bought. Adek was begging Sasha to buy exactly the same one 'cause she said it was nice. LOL.

TOODLES

OMG! I'm so watching New Moon!

2009-06-08T21:51:00.002+08:00

Image by Satsukiame via Flickr

I'm so gonna watch New Moon okay! Just watch the trailer and it was Over The Top!! And yeah this is the second post of the day.

Pssttt.. I want to be a GIRL. I no longer want people - guy friends especially to call me a BOY. Don't laugh you IDIOT. I know my brothers who are reading this and sisters are laughing when they read that!

Ouh yar, Ryan called me just now to catch up a little. That brother of mine. (=

Very much ALIVE and BORED

2009-06-08T18:00:00.003+08:00

To my beautiful ladies, I'm right here. Like I texted to Trustable One, I'm very much ALIVE&KICKING but right now I'm BORED. Sorry for rejecting your calls and not replying to your texts. I don't know, I just needed to be alone for a while. I know this is not the RIGHT TIME to do so but I just felt like I need that OWN TIME right now. I'm sorry. I'm feeling all better now. I kept on thinking and thinking about stuff - LIFE especially. And after reading this book, 'Where Rainbow Ends' by Cecilia Atherns, I'm more motivated to think through life. The story is about a Best Friend relationship between Rosie Dunne and Alex Steward. They went through a lot together, through thick and thin there were there for each other. And yes for those who are fast at catching what I'm trying to imply, I was thinking about my relationship with Qaiyum. Will it be able to withstand the storms just like Rosie and Alex did? Only ALLAH knows.

I miss Nasha Amirul Bin Jamal and Rezki Faiz Bin Jamal TREMENDOUSLY. I needed them to cheer me up. Nash NEVER complains when I tell him my problem and Aez never fails to make me had a heart attack and yet I'm able to laugh it out later on. Sometimes, I wander how my life would have been if Aez wasn't born? Will I still be living with my Mom? Will Mom and Dad still be together? I doubt so. Dad, he's a moron. It's OKAY, I'm over it. I'm glad I have my brothers. Being the eldest to them is not easy plus the facts that I have not been showing good examples to them. I guess, I still need to work on the good example part eh?

3 years from now, I want to graduate from a polytechnic with a Diploma in Psychology. And maybe after that, I would further my studies to get a Bachelor in it. I can only plan though 'cause as we all know, FATE can't help but to meddle in life. Insya'allah, I would achieve what I want one day. Then, maybe, I could be a role model to my brothers and younger cousins for the fact that I'm the eldest cousin.

With that, much love from me to you. Assammualaikum. (I'm feeling very holy right now.)

How come Life never goes my way? - don't answer that

2009-06-07T17:02:00.003+08:00

Right now, I really want to escape Upwards. I want to be on higher ground. I don't want people to find me anywhere. But that will not be happening so soon. Perhaps, 3 months more, I'll be able to escape from all these Dramas. Wish me luck.

If we are not going to learn from the past, what is the point of having one? Nevertheless, not many has learns from past experience. Honestly, I'm one of them. I simply love to turn around once in a while just to know, how's life going to be only if I have taken another step in my life. What a WASTE. Those little time spent on turning back could have been used for something far better.
This is for Ahmad Qaiyum Md Sani, Md Afiq Imsak, Nabilah Noordin, Nurul Jannah Saifulbahri, Nursyaza Liyana Zulkifli, Atieqah Qiara Rahim, Sukarno Ahmad, Rhagavan Jernathan Andrew and Brandon Tian JK. You guys meant a lot to me. Even if not to a GREAT extent, you guys played an important role in my life. I pinky promise that I will always be your best friend. I'm sweet aren't I? (Note to AJAY: Get over yourself!)

I want to be like the lady above. (YES, it is me) What I mean is that, I used to be so wild and free. I WAS happy-go-lucky once upon a time. I don't even know where that part of me vanished to? I miss myself. Qaiyum told me he missed the old me too. God, Who am I now? Qiara, we talked about this yesterday didn't we? I really want our old life back. But that's NEVER going to happen huh? Life is not cruel. I'm trying to see that point though 'cause for the time being, I do think that life is cruel. For an instant, Ahmad Qaiyum refused to talk to me. Thanks eh?

Get-Together picture after so much distance and silence?

Slept over at her house from Friday night. Got home today. Main point: To help her build a BRIDGE and most importantly, GET OVER IT! or should I say HIM? We spent our sisterly bonding time together. I poured out my heartfelt feelings and so did she. I told her I want to escape Upward! I want to be distance from the ground. The ground is not safe. There is too much problems on ground. Up there, somewhere, there is only the clouds, rainbows, atmosphere and the air. How I wish there is such a place.

And right now, how i wish I was in Venezuela - where the highest waterfall lies. Maybe just maybe when reached there I'll dive right in. - P.S. i can't swim. All the BETTER i guess. I want to be drowned in the place I've always wanted to visit.

About my previous post, Marriage stuff. I'm fine now for my melodramatic friends who will be continuously asking if I'm okay. Just don't mention it to me and I'll be doubly the fine!

Qaiyum, did I made a wrong choice by making up with you? By giving in to you? It's starting again Qaiyum. You're hurting me emotionally again and guess what, It's NO FUN at all. Please forgive me?

I think I'm CURSED!

2009-06-06T23:39:00.002+08:00

Read my title people. Seriously I think I'm cursed. People keep on saying to me:
" Nanti bile ko ade anak, anak kau kurang ajar dgn kau!"
" Nanti biler kau kahwin tkde org yg datang!"

and many-many more. And with that, read this once and for all; NEVER, NEVER EVER TALKED TO ME ABOUT MARRIAGE. I'm cursed enough. Instead of getting encouragement I'm getting more cursed by the day. This week alone, dad, grandfather and a person said so to me.

My psychology is already BAD. i don't wanna get married and with all these Good Luck WISHES, i think I'm never ever gonna change my mind about marriage. Thanks a dozen eh people. Don't asked me why i'm so moody over this. Marriage is a VERY VERY VERY SENSITIVE TOPIC to me. If you don't know, now you knew it so please, i'm begging you.

Bestfriend is not happy with me to add on to the enjoyment list. He simply refused to understand my plight. That's how cursed I am. My best friend don't even understand me. I guess that's all. And for those who thinks i deserved all those compliments of cursed marriage, thank you.

Trustable One - Thank You

2009-06-04T22:51:00.002+08:00

Trustable One

First and foremost, i would like to thank this girl here for accompanying me just now. Her grocery skill was superb. LOL. take this take that. Not bad not bad can be a good housewife. And yeah Skirt's Day Out? NP but doesn't that means I need a skirt? LOL.

The picture below is just another picture at the Physic's Lab.

Gosh, dad father of mine keep on yapping about how I should have called my mom and asked how she's doing and stuff. I mean please lar, you don't know anything man. Everyday time after prayers without fail I will pray for her well-being. She doesn't need to know that okay. I know what I'm doing and I don't need people like you to tell me what I should do. he was in the living room talking to me while i'm in the kitchen eating. I plucked in my earpiece 'cause i can't tolerate all the nagging anymore. When he saw what i did he just shut up! of course i felt bad but like i said, i know what i'm doing i don't need people to tel me what to do. Out of 16 years i've been independent for more than half my life. I was the eldest, i'm always needing to do this and that so do you think i need your guidance now? the answer is HELL NO man!

woke up at 7+ and texted yun and syaz saying i'll be late than slept again. Syaz kept on text ting waking me up like WTF sia. in the end at 9:50 when i reached school, she still with a guy. tolong uh eh tak perlu sei disturb my sleep. Geog was okay lar. Miss Durga teach us how to answer question. Math was fun too. Chemistry at the lab, played a lot. We kept on spraying water. Me and Fay anyhow add chemical and just now, there was a chemical reaction. we were like Ohk Oh!

Qaiyum majok with me. Whatever sia tu anak. And so i said:

Me: Serious kau nak majok ngan aku?
Him: a'ah
Me: Confirm?
Him: yelar yelar
Me: I ask you one last time. Confirm?
Him: tak la tak la. tapi aku sedih kau buat aku gini

eleh macam paham. And Afiq, asal sia tak online? I wanna noe the Sachok guy!!!

Today may be dark but it may be Tomorrow's Blessings in Disguise

2009-06-03T21:37:00.004+08:00

F&N lesson

Oudated

I miss those moments

I don't know what's up with me but what's up with the long Blog Title Ajay? And yeah thanks eh Scarvie for the update tag. HAA.

My brain almost had a malfunction from yesterday studying plus, it was raining in the morning and so I was having a hard time to wake up. Reached school and yeah I came first again. Didn't meet Life Savior 2 at all today. sadded. English plus POA was okay I guess. Math was FUN too except for F&N lar cause ANGIE take over mah. Qiara should know who is ANGIE and for Yun and Bitch, yang dok kat depan tu lar.

Yun, Small and ME did something stupid today. We typed out our heartfelt words wanting her to know and get lost but at the same time, we were weighing the consequences of her locking our PC. ahaha. Went to Ten Mile with Yun today. we spent almost 2 hours just to find SOME stuff. Haa, F&N we were dirty lar. So Small, how to drink milk? And what fruit cannot choke?

Yun should know this. 'The songs which used to mean a lot to me has LOST its value' and Yun answer was jealousy. Ok fine true though. It hurts like knife but on a happier notes, I have my SACHOK guy to make me smile. Afiq, I don't care already if you tell him or not 'cause at least it makes me happy. haha. Girlfriend, welcome to AJAY's world the side which you've never seen in Nonoi which is - the interest in guys. LOL.

TO ATIEQAH QIARA BTE RAHIM - i am here and will always be. My Blog title, okay guilty, it's for you. I love you babe now, then and always will. JDs are strong people. Take care of your health babe.

Sachok sei... Word of the day

2009-06-02T21:58:00.002+08:00

Read it, Understand it, Apply it.

After the 'ouh so long' of not taking picture together. This is taken during Physics lesson. Credits to JJpartner!

We were BOTH TIRED actually but i was the 'itchy mouth' who said "let's take picture!" knew a sad thing today. shan't elaborate it here. And so morning was pleasant even though i only had 2hrs of sleep. Went to school early and ended up sitting alone at the canteen. Saw Alang and Co. Yuyun came but as usual, her blind mice eyes, she can't see me. i was telling Rachel Idiot, "Jannah can't see me you know 'cause she never wear her spec" HAH! and then she came. Slack slack at canteen a while and then go back class.

English, Mrs Heng drilled us on our pronunciation. 'TH' sound. it was fun actually and most of us sounded SMARTER already. Had break twice during her lesson. During the second break, 2 old friend told me something which saddens me. Yeah that's what the sadness is about. Then headed back to class and go to the physics lab. Oh yeah, kept on saying the word 'SACHOK' over and over again. Afiq, your bassist is sachok okay! B sat at the same table. Kutti Boi didn't come. Syaz and me. We are so random. Did paid attention but of course, distractions here and there. Got one part, Yuyun came over then there was a warsp flying. She hid under the table it was funny lar.

Geography. Talked a lot. Suddenly, CCAs topic were discussed. HAH! How many times eh GOLD? Okay2 stop it. and yes i still continued my SACHOK madness. all the way to F&N lesson.

Aisyah Syaahindah S. thanks for the bubble tea. And good luck for your execution tomorrow. All the BEST babe!

"I'm your WORST nightmare" LOL funny sia that part!

MT 'O's over!

2009-06-01T21:23:00.002+08:00

First at foremost, I miss this guy here. I miss his voice singing songs for us. I miss you dude!

OK, so today was MT 'O' papers. A few metres before I reached the school gate I realised I forgot to bring my confirmation slip.

(thoughts)
me: alamak luper nak bawak confirmation slip
: k takper ade IC
me: alamak tak bawak wallet!

and so i rushed home just to get my confirmation slip but didn't bring my wallet along. Reached school, the ladies were not at their usual spot so walked to the canteen. SCAR was there at the front bench but didn't realised him I was busy searching for the girls. SCAR made this really stupid face early in the morning. what the TOOT! headed over to the girls and had a quick revised. Our school students seriously should learn how to line up. 'cause it was all messed up just now. The teachers then wanted to check our attendance. Both times they asked for my IC but i didn't bring mah! and I guess that's the end for MT 'O' eh? jsut hope can pass well. Oh well, walked home - till LRT with Scar, Bil, Syaz and Yun. Scar was busy asking and comparing answers as if we will get the papers back. And I said something stupid.

Me: Kalo aku dapat A1 aku nak retake uh!

they were looking at me one kind. LOL.

BOO! Has not been chatting with JUNIOR for 2 days straight. I miss you already lar boy! online please? Before the 5th? we both know what's gonna happen that day right? Please (X3) change for the BETTER. like i said, i have great FAITH in you. Once again, please online I want to talk to you. Oh yeah, 2 days back Afiq begged me to watch his videos - jamming. He's good as ever only BETTER. Afiq you owe me a live performance with your band get it? And your guitarist is HAWT! yar yar you hotter - not!

Btw, i didn't want to update yet but SCAR keep on asking me too and in the end, I'm predicting AIA is back therefore he's already offline. Aww too bad. Tomorrow perhaps?

YESTERDAY sucks. I scolded vulgarities as if i was singing praises and the front door was open. It was obvious my neighbours heard me. They knew I'm the only female in the house and my brothers and I were shouting at the top of our voices.

AEZ - tangan gatal gi kacau si sial nye Aden
Aden - tak habez2 nyakat g cubit Aez
Nash - tak leh Aez dipukul/cubit therefore he punch Aden on the ribs

Nash was banging on my door complaining 'bout Aden. Aez was crying as if somebody just died. So I came out with curses redied to be blurted out! ASS HOLE!

TODAY they didn't dare to make noise. Instead, i told them to call me 'NOONA' if they were to call me kakak, i won't entertain them. I danced like a RETARD 'cause i was happy 'sekali gus' entertaining them and they were laughing. HAH!

THE WORK OF DAMN NASH&ADEN - i just stripped off my Uniform sia luckily i wear boxer and singlet inside. NB!

Afternoon post - killing 2 birds with 1 stone

2009-05-31T17:24:00.004+08:00

Afternoon humans! It is so not my style to post in the Afternoon. I know I know! Well that's because I'm going to study like HELL tonight. Not going to be online in another word, no chatting with Best Friend today. Sad sia. And Best Friend, don't worry what I promise you I'll do it kay? Oh yar do update me on her. Best Friend was cute. I asked him to wish me good luck for tomorrow and instead he said 'Bad Luck'

Me: Eh cepat wish aku gud luck for Monday my MT 'O'.
Him: BAD LUCK TO YOU!
Me: Qaiyum FAKE. Kau actually nak cakap Gud Luck tapi SHY!
Him: alamak. mane kau tau ni? HUHU

CRAP sia. But he made me smile. He knows every single thing to make me smile again. He knows MORE things to make me angry all over again. That's him - my best friend. Thank you so much for coming into my life. You still spare time for me despite having a girl friend and I am very thankful to your girl friend for understanding.

Basically FORCE the useless guys in my house to STUDY 'cause why? I'm studying! Asked Aden to do his Math Textbook, Aez learn his spelling and Nash, recapped whatever he has learn. I studied in a funny way though. To kill two birds with one stone, I read the Soalan A1 Imbuhan and take note of all the points that can be used for the expository writing. Studied frasa-frasa for Narrative too in case i decided to do that. The only one type i didn't study was Descriptive.

Latest Buzz episode today was sweet. Aww. Guys just refuse to say what they mean huh? Just like my best friend here, Qaiyum. They always say the opposite and expect us to know! Whatever though!

To my BAR(s), SNI AND -ismFamily, most importantly Nurul Jannah Saifulbahri, Good Luck for MT 'O' tomorrow. May we clear the paper and not see Radi face again yeah?

25 more days to JDs outing
26 more days to Dance Parte! (party)

That lil shawty Fire Burning on the Dance Floor

2009-05-30T20:28:00.002+08:00

The picture I was talking about in my past post! Just happened i love both teams mah!

Currently AJAY is missing this 2 humans tremendously + Luvly Mama & Ryan

Mikail Sohani Adam. He's my baby boy. While other girls use that term on their love ones, my baby boy is this cute and chubby boy here. I took care of him since he was a baby okay! Since I was in P4. Of course i treat him as much as my own. Love you baby. and at the same time missing bbb in Jurong. How are you boy?
This chic here is my lovely cousin love. Among all my cousins I'm closest to here. No matter what's the occasion, we can talk for hours and hours without getting thirsty!

Currently addicted to the song Fire Burning and Bailalo. I don't know why just suddenly. Downloaded the song few weeks back though but insanely in love with it only now. Oh yar, Hush Hush and Unstoppable too. Ouh ouh and Groove On too.

'Somebody call 911, shawty fire burning on the dance floor'

Sean Kingston rocks eh? and currently waiting for Best Friend to online. See that's the problem. When we talk, we talk all the way but when there's silence, we kept mum for quite a while. I hate this. JUNIOR you know I hate this. Luckily yet again you didn't blow your top when I talk 'bout Garfield yesterday. Thank you for that. I know i agitate you a lot. You've changed too, you didn't scold me or whatever like you used too. I'm proud of you I really do and I sure Brother Love you! Boy, Iynaa has feelings too you know! How can you hurt her and expect her not to take actions? You felt guilty right? That's why in the end you told me the truth. And I'm happy yet again that you still want to share your problem with me.

Yipee! Best Friend online already! ahaha. Oh yar look at your abg. He has changed for the BETTER and he's in Australia now studying, taking course there. I want you to be like him can? Okay readers, gonna chat with Best Friend now. toodles.

Ahmad Qaiyum - Please keep your cool

2009-05-29T21:34:00.003+08:00

Qaiyum Junior - My Life Savior!

currently chatting with this guy here and Min Sepet! Brotherly love guer rindu korang lar sial!

Qaiyum started out very cutely : eh makcik
♪♪QАIYUМ ЈUИІОR?? says:
*eh makcik
AJAYism - says:
*apa hang mau?
makcik eh?
♪♪QАIYUМ ЈUИІОR?? says:
*haa
*cock ar kau
*aku nk chat ngn kwn lame pon tk leh
AJAYism - says:
*eleh.. action konon..
kalo on tues aku tk carik kau
kau nmpk aku on9 pon kau bohlayan
♪♪QАIYUМ ЈUИІОR?? says:
*haa
*ape je
*aku mmg nk lyn kau
*cume aku malu
*huhu
AJAYism - says:
*haa mepek
QAIYUM JUNIOR mepek!!
kau lagi buat per?
hari2 ko on9...

That's the starting conversation lar. That's all can be shared eh! Best friend, keep your cool. Not worth it to get all worked up over it. Remember you promised me and her that you will change? Don't let little stuff backed you out. I know this is not a small matter if I'm in your place I'll get all worked up too but give ____ a chance kay? even though I won't. Ok my advice is contradicting myself but at least I know that's the right thing to do. Urgh!

So called last day of school! Today was in the mood to eat breakfast. And of course, morning coffee is essential to me. When to school feeling all rejuvenated. I didn't felt tired at all during MT lesson. Cikgu was telling individuals to improve she said Scar's name so i was like, 'ingat Scar blaja' skali i oso kena 'cause my Malay not consistent. I dropped drastically for Mid-year Fuck! I really gonna pull my sock damn high and get my distinction for Malay sia. Can't afford to get poor result for my Malay.

RANDOM. that's the word for the time after Intensive. Oh yar while chatting with Best Friend, Aan called and tell me 'bout Scar. Arse hole! Scar what happened sia?

Best friend, thanks for everything. Even though you negatively impact me, you have help me a lot. It's my turn now. Ahmad Qaiyum I have FAITH in you!

Manchester United = Over-confident

2009-05-28T22:38:00.005+08:00

That's my BAR! Obviously I'm not there so its BR? ahaha. okay crapped!

Physics lesson is FOREVER boring but with my two lovelies on top and my sweetest bitch, it gave a whole new meaning. BAR(S) member states FACTs! we do not gossip! right B? I love them a lot lar. And today topic was about HUSH HUSH! Scar always abandoned me during Physics! Fucker! We were doing experiments lar. Then today about the pendulum thingy.

Syaz: 1
Me: 2
Brandon: eh wait wait i do with you
Brandon: 1
Syaz: 2
Me: 3
(After 20 oscillation)
Brandon: Eh do until how many uh? i nv even count leh.

BIMBO sia!

RANDOM

Enjoyed my day with Nurul Jannah Bte Saifulbahri today! That's my Trustable One! After like eons of not spending time together. Due to... Memories yeah babe? Morning all the way to Mac were filled with laughter. Remember Reflection Centre? Syurga? Station A? and Nerake? love love lar. After 2 days of quality chat with JUNIOR, didn't online today. plain LAZY. I miss Qiayum Junior already though. Come here soon boy. Bring Iynaa along. MT 'O' level coming. Tomorrow is the last day for intensive MT. Thank God. Still remember how she merajok yesterday. "Lesson saye da hebes kan? Awak buat lar suke hati awak!" And today her phone rang again.

Irsyad: (Singing along) alamak tak lame lagi aku hafal sak lagu ni
Yazid: Kua tau lagu ni?
Irsyad: (Not answering question) Cikgu kite karaoke uh cikgu.

ASSEMBLY was memorable. Sial uh the one kena caught were mostly 4E Malay people. Some of the people are Me, Syaz, Jannah, Cesc, Hafeez, Ana, Sheril, Yong, Irsyad, CB, Hakim and others. Stand at the reflection centre for the whole school to see eh? Jannah wish came true LOL

See the face of poor Fergie, Giggs and Rooney. )=

When i found out that Barca will be meeting Man U on 27 May few days back my first word was "SHIT!" haha both my fave team sia! I still remember I edited one of my photo saying that I'm a die hard Barca and Man U fan! Somehow i wish Man U would have won. I love both equally though just wish lar 'cause I thought it would be a great achievement for Man U. The last time they won the Champion League was like??? Nevertheless I'm proud of Team Barca! Cesc was jumping up and down in school celebrating. Thanks to who? Eto'o and Messi of course! And I found this on the net, "10 reasons why Sir Alex Fergusons side lost in Rome".

1. Darren Fletcher was suspended
The Scot received a red card in the 3-1 semi-final second leg at Arsenal and attempts to have the ban rescinded failed. The lack of steel in midfield highlighted just why Sir Alex Ferguson was so determined to fight the corner for his fellow countryman.

2. Over confidence
Everybody and his dog thought United would win and with ease. Having claimed the Club World Cup and the Carling Cup, they secured the Premier League with ease, setting records along the way, and so the feeling was that all they had to do was turn up at the Olympic Stadium.

3. Barcelona's performances against Chelsea
United were fooled by Barcelona's poor showings against Chelsea in the semi-finals. The feeling was that Barca showed little in the Nou Camp or at Stamford Bridge to suggest they would pose a threat to a team that finished seven points clear of Chelsea in the Premier League.

4. Team selection
Ferguson decided against starting with either Dimitar Berbatov of Carlos Tevez, despite the fact they have shared 29 goals this season. That meant United relying on Cristiano Ronaldo and Wayne Rooney to supply the goals and neither were on top form on the night.

5. Ji-Sung Park
With Fletcher missing, Park was a surprise inclusion, but the guile and determination he has shown in recent weeks went missing on the night. When he switched from the right to his preferred left in the second half he looked more settled, but was eventually taken off.

6. Pep Guardiola
At 38, the Barca coach is 29 years the junior of Ferguson but his tactical plan was superior. Despite being without the suspended Eric Abidal and Daniel Alves as well as the injured Rafael Marquez, Guardiola picked a side that left United outnumbered in midfield.

7. Lionel Messi
The Argentine they call Leo was a lion in Rome, but he wasn't the one taken to the slaughter. He started as a central striker and caused panic with his speed and touch. And the fact that the shortest man on the pitch was able to score a header says all you need to know about the 21-year-old.

8. History
The record books show that no team has successfully defended the Champions League. Valencia and Juventus lost successive finals while AC Milan won one and lost two from 1993 to 1995. Not since 1990, when Milan won successive European Cups, has it been achieved, and Wednesday night showed just how hard it is.

9. Andres Iniesta
El Ilusionista must be one of the most underrated players in Europe. Outstanding throughout, particularly early on when he drove through the United middle before passing for Samuel Eto'o for the killer early first goal. If Iniesta had been wearing white, United would have won.

10. "Shoddy defending"
Ferguson used those very words to describe the reason for this unexpected defeat; usually reliable men like Nemanja Vidic, outstanding all season but at fault for the opening goal, and Rio Ferdinand, who – perhaps – was not totally fit, let United down on the biggest stage.

Today is RANDOM Tomorrow is MODNAR? ok LAME

2009-05-27T21:24:00.002+08:00

AJAY is happy as she can be. Picture below incomplete though. Afiq&Ghaffar solo photo..

So much of wanting to attend lesson late in the end me and the ladies were just in time for flag raising ceremony! grr! MT, ladies commented that I keep on laughing and they could hear my voice from the other end. What do you expect? I'm seated with noisy+ crappy folks. Geog Miss Durga didn't come in as she was in charged of the sec 1s post-exam activities programmed. So that opens up opportunities for me to talk to Trustable one lar. SMALL on the other hand was walking around and suited with the name SS. Skipped F&N and homed.

Rinaaaa.. here's the photos. Stop pestering me already okay? haha nevertheless love ya Junior!

Both are precious to me and I'm siding neither; I don't want to choose

2009-05-26T19:25:00.004+08:00

I wanna be set free

Perhaps it has been the most HAPPIEST day of my life today. To be talking again to Ahmad Qaiyum Bin Md Sani. Only ALLAH knows how happy I felt. I know, people will start to look down on me saying I was the one who keep on saying I want to forget Qaiyum. But don't you guys realised? That's what Best Friend is all about. He has been waiting for me you guys 'cause he know I'm always the one who will give in. He's no good in making peace therefore he has been waiting for me to make that move. Say whatever you want but Qaiyum means a lot to me. If not because of him I don't know what would have happen to me. I'll die off too much pressure and thinking 'bout stuff. Ahmad Qaiyum, thank you for not giving up and keep on waiting for me. And it touches my heart to see that you still treasure Ghaffar just as priceless as you treasured him last time and how I wish Ghaffar realised that.

BLACK. You said I am your bestfriend and listening ears but you still refuse to listen to me and still wants to continue your plan in hurting yourself. Is it worth it? Why must you keep on doing stuff that will hurt others and yourself? You said you still love her than why are you doing this? I'm confident she still loves you too but maybe it's just not the time for you guys to be together yet. JEALOUSY is what I will described you for now. Those twos are just friends BLACK she said so too. Even though she call them loving words doesn't mean she no longer loves you. By the way, serious talking I don't trust them in wanting to know her.

SMALL. Like I said, you have me, Ilah and now your super duos. But who does he have? NOBODY. Trust me, nobody. And he's feeling damn down yes I know his way of expressing his feelings sucks but that's all he could do at that point of time. I just need you to be a little, just a little bit more understanding. That doesn't mean going back to him just be his friends. I love you both. Yes he's an arse hole at times but maybe that's what makes him different. Stupid I know. And please SMALL, nobody is blaming you please do not keep on saying 'yelar aku yang salah!' what for you say so when you know you're not?

Rinaa darling, about that issue yes you should be concern but not overly concern okay? You're just 14. Like I said, when your heart tells you to do so then, immerse yourself in it. Not now, don't stress yourself out.

Lately in class has been spending time with Scarvie. Who else? It's Intensive MT after all and he's my irritating partner. And GOD, I can die from this stupid Intensive sia.

First day of not attending dance.

Qaiyum, thank you for remembering. And boy, I hope you are really serious this time round about changing for the BETTER. I still have FAITH in you Ahmad Qaiyum and I'm sure your girlfriend, Iynaa has a humongous Faith planted in you too. I love you boy and my love for you since the day we became friends has never change 'cause I'll forever fell indebted to you.

Lastly, thank you for all the concern you guys had showered me with. I'll be happy. I'm smiling widely in school aren't I? Like I said why should I care when they don't? I don't want it to matter anymore.

I'm fucking hating everything right now - hate this feeling

2009-05-24T01:24:00.002+08:00

FUCKED OFF

Drank one bottle of ready-made coffee just now therefore can't get to sleep. I don't know why but my heart is playing a trick on me again right now. I keep on feeling sad over the slightest reason. And I keep on wanting to cry but I didn't of course. AJAY is strong. AJAY is not like Lohan. Lohan is a sucker. Lohan depended on that fucked up guy too much. AJAY is different. Ajay is independent. Please lar AJAY get a grip of yourself if not all these that you have done to be strong is wasted 'cause you lose out to your heart.

Yes, friends disappoint me times and again. Close ones especially. But AJAY don't you remember, all good things come to an end. Your happy times with those people have ended. They have move on so why are you stuck here? Only you can boost yourself up AJAY. (and OMG I'm talking to myself)

I privates my blog. I don't want those people to know that I've failed to form a new me; AJAY. I don't want to be Nonoi Lohan anymore. I want to get a life. I don't want to be disappointed anymore. Chatted with Ghaffar ytd, Saturday. It was short, simple and sweet. Love and miss him so much. At times like this, how nice would it be if Ghaffar and Afiq are by my side, lending their shoulders for my head to lay on. But that will never happen anymore 'cause I'm AJAY.

ismFamily only lasted for a while. The name remained though 'cause I'm AJAYism. Scar has converted to ism to but as for Aan, nobody knows. Remember AJAY, good times has ended. Accept the fact aite. And AJAY, always remember when you have asked a person 2 times to do something and they still did not do it, forget about it 'cause they would never do it.

Gosh i want Brandon, Rhagavan, Nabilah, Jannah, Scar and Syaza right now. I feel like I'm still falling apart even after all these typing. Relax AJAY, relax. I know they love me. That's all i need to know right now. I don't need anyone else except for all the name in this post. Ghaffar, Afiq and the 6 above. Even Fatin disappoint me. She never make any extra afford for me. It's not the first, the second, the fifth or eight. It has been too much. I'm sorry i can't hold on anymore. Fatin, you are always pointing out Qaiyum's mistakes but what about you? It doesn't matter now, I don't want it to matter anymore.

What I know is that the only people i need in my life are those that prove they need me in theirs. So far only Bilah prove so. Syaza has yet to prove and the guys just won't open up. I guess that's all I'll be ranting about. Btw if you guys just say that you love me, girls or guys i won't believe it anymore 'cause a few keep on saying and they just say it but has done nothing to prove so.

The most sickening thing right now is that i keep on thinking about Qaiyum from the start of this post. Shit Qaiyum. What happen to our happy moments? I needed you okay! But arse hole, i know you'll never care for me like you used to anymore 'cause you're a JERK Qaiyum.

I JUST LOVE TO HATE EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW. AT THIS MOMENT, I'M HATING EVERY SINGLE THING. AND THE FEELING IS INDESCRIBABLE.

Why should I care if THOSE ppl don't care

2009-05-23T18:06:00.002+08:00

I've asked you upteenth times and again 'cause i thought you were my bestfriend. Each and everytime you prove me wrong.

I DON'T CARE ANYMORE. DON'T EVER FIND ME AGAIN OKAY. IF YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW I'M REFERRING TO YOU THAT JUST PROVE HOW MUCH YOU NEVER CARED AND PAY ATTENTION TO WHATEVER I SAY.

If I'm to move any more vigorousy - I'd be paralysed

2009-05-23T15:48:00.004+08:00

Annyeonghaseyo readers! My body is aching(X3). why is that so? Yeap you guessed it! DANCE! Since Tuesday has been coming home at 7+pm rehearsing the hiphop item and finally yesterday was the performance. In the end Qiara, Saffie and I didn't dance though. Dandy hates the costume and the other dancers REFUSED to dance with the choosen costume. If we were to use the White Costume, 3 dancers has to be pulled out 'cause not enough costume. Just happened Qiara was sicked. She can't dance and left 2 more dancers to be taken out. As for me, I already said to Qiara, if you're out, I'm out. As for Saffie, she's unsure for some of her steps. So, Saffie and I backed out. And so, just nice. 3 dancers backed out, the rest of the dancers can now used the White costume. Nah, dun get the wrong idea. Ain't angry though 'cause I got to spend more time with the juniors on my step down day. It was not really a happy day 'cause there were a lot of drama going on. (Not pointing fingers aite) People started getting angry, crying etc.

Didn't even get the chence to talk to Rachel(AES) and Anis(FSS). BUT i made a new friend, Mei Ting from Regeant sec. Right leg full of bruises. Always right leg sia! After everything, Mr Lee wanted to talk to us Seniors. dadidadida. He indirectly was scolding me lar about the stepdown thingy. I mean aiyah dowan say redie. Let's drop the subject yeah? Will be talking to the sec3s ASAP.

I saw ABDUL GHAFFAR yesterday. SHIT ASS i miss that dude! most of my girls knew what happened right? Including Afiq and Qaiyum of course! oh yar, Fatyn too! grr!! iw anted to have a long talk with him ytd but because of the time constraint and due to Mr Lee talks. aiyah. And that is like the only chance i had to talk to Ghaffar OMG sia!

To SCARVILISM:

Dude, you've done me a great favor these 2 days. $$ <- your kindness won't be forgotten lar!! and I'll have my way to pay you back okay! don't you worry 'bout that. Love ya dude. And we should really shuddup during MT!

The Step Down

2009-05-20T06:18:00.002+08:00

DanceFrom Nur Afisah to Nonoi Lohan to Eetcha C. to Ajay Aigoo, all 4 characters in my life, we agreed on one thing, that one thing - The thirst and passion for Dance. The gracefulness of it, the out-of-body experience when you're acting your role and simply, being as one with the rhythm. I may not be blogging for quite a while nowadays due to revisions. Therefore, I'll be blogging now for till Friday if I won't be blogging till Friday lar (=

This Friday will ends it all I guess. Supposedly to step down next month but I take a front step by stepping down this Friday. 19 September marks the date I first began to be the chairman of Dance club. This Friday, 22 May 2009, I'll end that job. I can wait till next month which is only a few weeks away but I guess it's okay, the earlier the better. Throughout being the chairman, it sucks lar. Before being the chairman I was always the one purposely not attending practice, come late and stuff. So while being the chairman, i still practices those bad habits sometimes. Yeah, there's also an issue about RESPECTs. I've been damn LENIENT towards dance club 'cause i don't believe in 'all serious' business. I like to have fun and so i want my dancers to have fun and enjoy themselves too during dance but I guess i took a wrong step by doing so. Never mind, there's such a thing called 'learnt from your mistakes'. I won't type out in what sense dance club lack of respect, responsibility and stuff 'cause that will only REFLECT on how bad I am at being the chairman. I am a bad chairman. To make matters worst, not to criticize but most of the new dancers, can't dance. That adds up to my job 'cause they can't learn the step in the same pace as us the seniors.

I'd received many criticisms while being the chairman too but I've put all that behind me the moment i got it. I won't elaborate so much lar. FYI I'm posting this in the morning ya'know. School later. haha. With that, I just hope that the new chairman which will be elected next month, will do a far better job than me. And if you(Whoever you are) have difficulties in handling newbies who can't dance ask me! haha I so have the answer for you!! Congrats way in advance to the new chairman aite.

And I'll officially hiatus for a WHILE (=

1st it was happiness 2nd comes angerness

2009-05-17T17:52:00.002+08:00

'&all I do it to continue dreaming' As long as I'm still staying under one roof with my'dad', nothings ever gonna change. He's going to order Nash and me around as if we're no life dogs begging for shelter in his home. Please wake up, if I were to step out of this house, I already have a place to go to. And for Nash, I'm very sure he'll be staying with mom in Woodlands. So 'dad' (insert sarcastic voice) Nash and I are only waiting for you to chase us out. Don't think you're so great 'cause you're NOT. faggot! You never wanted to see me happy don't you? Every time you said you care and love us, your actions just prove you wrong. Ever heard of a saying 'actions speaks louder than words'? you definitely haven't heard of it have you? Whatever it is, I'm counting down the days till after 'O's 'cause that will be the time I'll say "I'm leaving!"

Sasha&Uncle Abg - The 4mths 20days wedded couple! (My life savior)

Without the two of them, I'll be back to square 1 of my life. Mixing with the wrong people, not coming back home and EXTREMELY rude. I've toned down my rudeness. These two were much more worst than me in their teenage life all the way to few years before their marriage. They both did many wrong stuff which I won't mention but they have changed. And what's bugging me now is that they are constantly reminding me not to be like them. Grr! I told them in the face I want go clubbing, I want to make mistakes and after that, I want to repent. Uncle was furious of course but Sasha take it coolly 'cause they have felt that before-that 'wanting' feeling. Nevertheless, thank you for standing me even after all the hard times i gave you guys especially Sasha. You and I both know what happened last year right? Seriously Luvly Mama, thank you for forgiving me and now accepting me to your family (=

Joo Ji Hoon - The Hawtie

I still admires him and will always do(smiling). Don't worry, I ain't a FREAK okay. Like I said in my profile. Korean guys are hot. And this hunk above just makes me drool can? I do I do I do wants to go to S.Korea like ASAP. But that asap is obviously after 'O's. Grr. Fine. I'll be waiting! The other reason I want go Korea is to get the Haptic POP phone below. The phone is just like Samsung OMNIA but it's different.

Sesat jalan, luas permandangan

That's the peribahasa Uncle Abg and Mami Manisah created yesterday. I was laughing like hell. Because, Uncle wanted to say the peribahasa 'Malu berkayu perahu hanyut, Malu bertanya sesat jalan' which means if you are shy to ask when in doubt, you will lose your way. While mami wanted to say the peribahasa 'Jauh perjalanan, Luas permandangan' which means the further you go the more you will see. And when they combine the peribahasa together, the meaning is so contradicting. When you lose your way, The more sceneries you will see.

Exams over ~ still there's no reason to smile

2009-05-16T04:44:00.006+08:00

'Bagai embun di hujung rumput'

Nothing last forever you know. There's a saying which goes "All good things will come to an END" very true indeed. And for a batuheaded 'SEIT' girl like me, I use that excuse for the four letter words too. Only SNI ladies including Trustable One I think knows what 'seit' is eh? I had experienced all the FUN in mid-APRIL, and now, it's the hangover period again. As 'B' will say, "Life Sucks". He has no life that's why! And as I sit cross-legged on my bed, laptop infront of me typing this shit, I don't know what I'm thinking or why I'm typing. I'm pretty messed up actually well no, not pretty but Extremely messed up. Is there even a panacea for feelings like this for more than once a day? And as contradicting to my favourite word, we must be 'sanguine'. LOL can imagined Yuyun and Small making faces as I typed that word. I kept on saying it to them while studying.

Ryan Giggs

Akin to Esah's overly obsessed with Steven Gerrard. This guy here on top in my man on the field. (rolling eyes+grinning) When Man U lose their footings in March, my mood went all the way down. I screamed and curse while reading aftermath of the match. Brothers were speechless. And I have been pestering dad to subscribe to cable TV again 'cause i can't bear the agony of not watching the match and only pinning my hopes on the news. It sucks big time ya know! I still remembered how I preached about Man U a year back. Brother was supporting Liverpool at that time and I was criticizing it for good time sake. Somehow, brother abandoned the interest in Liverpool and joined the Man U fan. Cousins were also influence. LOL? I spent quality time on the net to source for the 2-1 score, Man U vs Wigan. F*ck YouTube for deleting the videos, copyright-craps! But my efforts were not wasted 'caused I managed to see how Carlos Teves scored the stabiliser for the match while Michael Carrick adds another goal to it. Okay, enough about EPL.

Watched these movies. One today in the wee morning while the below one last week with brother. Both, was okay. not boring. romance plus comedy plus whatever!

Exams over eh? Still there's no reason to celebrate to the fullest YET. Few weeks more to Mt 'O' level and then 3 more mths to prelims and the next month, the 'O' level itself. Do I have much time? HELL NO. As -ism Family didn't went to school together on Wednesday, we make up for it on Friday. And, i should really stop using my laptop 'cause I've been using it since yesterday, yes, yesterday and only letting the lappie break for a few minutes.

Gonna accompany Sasha for her check-up later. And then we go jalan+makan+mrayap! &again, accumulated pictures!

After 'it feels so long' not using the lappie.

After outing with Uncle Boi, Uncle Abg, Sasha and Hafiz

Morning madness before getting ready for school

The 2 bottles of Meiji coffee I gulped down and that explains why I'm yet to sleep

SHOULD I PRIVATE MY BLOG?

&it's back to square 1 again.

2009-05-08T23:20:00.004+08:00

Happy Birthday AHMAD QAIYUM BIN MD SANI

Hello people! miss me? i doubt so. What difference does it make even if i don't updat emy blog right? CURRENT SITUATION = Back to square 1! Yes, that's how i feel between me and them. Like what i told Trustable one, i feel like i'm just the mediator in both situation. In both situation, two people are back in good term again. To think again, did i really helped them or did they just get tired of my chapping and decided it's better off they get back in good terms again rather than listening to me talk. Only GOD knows.

Yes, yes, so much of not caring about Qaiyum. What am I to do? His birthday it etched everywhere in me. What he wants to be, his favourite sport, his first girlfriend, his family members. I just can't get rid of all these stuff inside me. It's part of who I am. Afiq tried contacting me but he called at the wrong time. I'll be waiting for your phone call boo.

This week has gone in a flash. Languages paper were okay. Math paper 1 was a killer while Social Studies was pretty fine. Chemistry paper was loved! On Wednesday was normal lesson but only studied for 1 hour+ Rhaga, Scar, Small, Clement, Sebas and I were lepaking outside class, crapping. Miss that moment. and yeah went to school with -ism family.

i guess my prayers has been answered a little huh? Every night after maghrib prayers i'll pray for these few things. And imean it, everyday. First of course will be for myself. Second family, for Sasha to get well soon and also My parents, brothers plus Mama. Third, friends - their health and to recover from sickness. I told him before I'll pray for him but i doubt he remembered. But it makes me smile to know that he's condition is getting better. And surprising enough, KIAMAT. these are the things i pray for every night.

&It's back to square 1 again.

Don't you agree? It's obvious to see. I guess we were never meant to be that close. Let's keep it this way shall we?

Be prepared to be BOMBard by my pictures!

I miss Sasha like hell!

a break after 2 days hardcore studying!

2009-05-01T21:38:00.002+08:00

I miss my hair!

I miss my Uncle Abg and My Ryan (Sasha included)

Read the title people? On Thursday night from 9pm till 2am, studied math and some geography. Today, continued with math. Don't i deserve a little break?

To rejuvenate myself, i decided to watch "YES Man". Was jealous when B and Scar constantly talked about it and i wasn't even part of the conversation. See what i mean when i say I'm still a girl? LOL. "Yes man" is OKAY! I'll recommend it to people. Well, after this gonna continue studying.

Attention people; I'll be switching off my phone often now so as not to distract myself. Only certain people knew. Just now i received like 10 text and 9 missed calls. I'm sorry i just can't be bothered with my phone now. Study is priority.

Sasha was hospitalised yesterday. Dehydrated. God, she's pregnant! Allah, please protect her. Apart from all these, the -ism family is born!

AJAYism
Scarvilism
Aanism

well, AJAYism is so me. Scar decided to change from Scarvilian to Scarvilism as for Aanism, i got nothing to do with it. Scar's idea. And oh, Jannah gave me a weird comment about me singing and SMALL and B commented on my phone dp. Has been receiving comments bout myself. tsk tsk.

With that, I guess, there's nothing else to say. Maybe, just maybe i won't be blogging during the exam period. You guys know I could not get away from my lappie right? Guess what, if i fail or don't do well for Mid-Year, i could say 'Bye-Bye' to my lappie for 5 MONTHS. YES, 5 MONTHS! that's crazy right? so pray for me yeah people that I'll pass my mid-year! nyahaha. Enjoying my so call last few moments here!

Off to study and there's CHEM class tomorrow. I'll be going of course. Still thinking if i want to attend PHY class or not tomorrow. Thinking...

Remember; "If you want something, GO GET IT!"

I'm here - for the moment

2009-04-29T01:18:00.002+08:00

Mirror mirror hanging on the wall, you don't have to tell me who's the biggest fool of all-

Even after all the bullshit you guys gave, i still misses you guys; i wander why

Life hasn't done me good this few days. Has been slipping into a dilemma every now and then, thinking about stuff. My brothers hasn't been doing well either. Problems with their love ones and families. None of us, and i mean none of us wants to trouble the others because we know that each individual is suffering. Rhagavan, Scar and even B. I didn't share my problem with them and even them when i asked them to spill, they won't budge. But ytd, i did tell Scar a lil. If all these would make us better in the future, I'm facing it right now with a calm heart. I'll be composing myself to him, nearing my soul. Death has been the favourite topic for us, no An, not just about you. We discussed it often too without you involved in any part of it. Like B would say, "Life Sucks!" There was never a thing Heaven on Earth in my proverbs. Nothing is ever close to Heaven. Talking 'bout that, just discussed this with Syawal Gua Kassim too.

Maybe, just maybe, we realised none of this make sense at all. Why are we depressed so much right now? Why are we thinking so much? Why am I even wasting my energy, my brain cells thinking about it. Maybe one day I'll wake up just to know none of this is even real.

Abdul Ghaffar, even though we NEVER speak anymore, i know you've been sick. I hope you'll get well soon dearest. And for Md Afiq, where the hell are you? I needed you. And as for An, like I said. No matter how awkward it suddenly seems for us to talk, i care and love you. I reread my old tagboard. You doesn't seems awkward back then. Don't worry, I'm not sad or angry or anything. I don't have enough living time to do that.